My little bubble of thoughts..

2009-05-11T03:00:00.002+08:00

its near.

and i just wana savour every moment before the big day comes. theres so much in my head and mind and heart these days. i'm feeling happy, excited, sad, scared, nervous.. all at the same time.

i'm happy of cos as i am looking forward to spend my life with that special someone. i'm excited cos its gona be another meaningful transition in my life. i'm sad cos i'm gona shift out of the house and be a so called 'distant' daughter. i'm gona miss having my family with me all the time. i'm gona miss chilling and crapping with my bros late at night during sch holidays. i'm gona miss my mums nagging and my dads not funny jokes. i'm gona miss having food laid on the table when i come back from work. i'm gona miss being spared from housework. i'm gona miss all the wedding preps as i already am missing the reno preps. i'm gona miss feeling busy for reasons other than work. i'm gona miss being a girlfriend and a fiance. i'm gona miss being 'single'. i'm gona miss my girlfrens. i'm gona miss the freedom i have to chill with them till late nite. i'm gona miss gg on holidays with them.

but like wat a dear fren said..it will all fall into place and things would be ok. insyallah.

and like wat my cuzzin said just now.. its all about learning to adapt. and i know for sure, its easier said than done.

i pray that i can adapt fast and adapt well.

2009-04-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

this week was indeed VERY tiring. the daily consultation kicked in and it only takes FOUR days for me to feel so zonked out. gosh. i thought i had more energy in me. haha. nonetheless, i still managed to find time for my loved ones. just met up with nad for some sushi. the jap green tea tasted horrible. i'm so gona miss my random meet ups with the tampinesians.. sigh.

looking forward to sat.

thank you for the sweet surprise.*big big smile*

2009-04-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

i'm getting busier by the day. or maybe i am just as busy everyday. this week i've started my daily consultation session with the kids. so everyday is a long day.

and after the long day (which ends close to 7), i still have to settle the nitty gritty stuffs fr the wedding. so my day continues till abt 10 or 11 at nite! gosh. everyday there's an agenda. this and that. i'm like on shifts. teacher in the day. everything else at nite. haha. first it was all the reno and house stuffs (for a good few months)and now...its back to wedding preps.

today i rushed off to geylang aft work. reached there close to 8. managed to get THE baju kurung. didnt manage to get heels. found a nice pair but its only 3.5 inches! i need more height people. oh i'm sure everyone knows that by now. hehe. i have to match up to someone lah. haha. but i'm glad i've found the baju kurung. tts one thing off the checklist.

i thot i was done and over with the search for heels. BUT due to some changes i made, now must search for a second pair! and i hate hate hate looking for heels. too many criteria to fit.

looking forward to saturday evening!

2009-04-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

next week is already week 4. its SO fast. and my heart is beating faster by the week.

two weddings for the past two weekends.. kinda getting me into the 'mood'. duno how mine will turn out to be. hopefully all will go smoothly. i pray for fine weather. i hope my guests would come. hehe.

oh the planning excites me. and whatever you mentioned about december just now excites me MORE. i REALLY hope it will come true.

june holidays, please come SOON...

2009-04-08T00:03:00.002+08:00

7 more weeks. june holidays, come quick.

getting nervous by the day. its all jittery now.

i'm glad we found each other.

2009-04-07T01:02:00.002+08:00

syidah looked gorgeous on her wedding day! congrats to you and farhan! farhan, well done for saying it all LOUD AND CLEAR. wishing you both a blissful life together.. enjoy the upcoming honeymoon.. and syidah, make full use of your splurge *winks*

its my turn next. *gasps* insyallah.

2009-03-31T00:08:00.002+08:00

i hate this part rite here.

a fren of mine gave me a penguin icon on msn. and i love it cos its cute. the penguin looks so sian and was dragging its heavy self to move. like theres no other choice but to just keep on moving.

rite now, i feel exactly like the penguin. except tt its not so cute to be the penguin.

i feel so weak in my knees i can hardly speak. and i am just dreading my way thru. like the penguin.

i need more than medicine. i need more than antibiotics and cough syrup.

sick.

2009-03-30T00:28:00.002+08:00

is it worth it?

when yes means no.

2009-03-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

sumtimes, short trips to the mall, buying pretty stuffs on impulse can make my day. cos it just did. went out to collect my lens and buy the cd for the wedding songs. ended up buying..

1) notebook with button-y prints from Art Box..apparently to write notes for meetings
2) pearl pink pocket mirror from Art Box..an additional item tt adds to my essentials
3) pretty pink and purple envelopes from Art Box..for special weddings
4) white hand towels from Aussino..for my toilets
5) white bath mats from Aussino..for my toilets again
6) organiser from Times.. its black and boring but its long overdue!!!

and i really really feel like buying the bedspreads from Aussino (again). it was on a good 30% discount! and its so lawa lah. there was this pink and small floral prints.. and another one which was pink with white lilies and nice green fern-like leaves! didnt buy them tho. decided to think first before buying. hahaha. even if i decide to buy, i wont be able to decide if i should get single or queen. argh. kental tau.

so now i am a bit de-stressed. lets get back to work.

2009-03-19T03:40:00.002+08:00

i'm wide awake. i cant sleep. and i have class tmr morning. i dun know if i can wake up as early as 7. its almost 4!!

i was bored. read my previous blog posts. from 05 to now. random posts. sigh. i had thots of deleting my blog. but when i read thru some posts just now, i am thinking twice abt it. i cant bear to erase all the entries. spent quite a bit of time blogging fr the past 4 years.

overwhelmed by the amt of things i have to do.

overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions.

overwhelmed by random thots.

2009-03-18T00:26:00.003+08:00

today was super productive. accompanied him to service the car. went back to the hse to do some cleaning up. went to decorama in the eve for him to pick the colour. and cleaned up the room at nite.

i feel a tinge of sadness as i was cleaning up. i never knew i love my room this much till half of it is empty. had to throw away so many things. i was kinda put into a time machine as i re-discovered all the junk tt i have kept all these years.. brought me back to the good old days. the teen days rite up to early twenties.. my pink room will soon be gone as it needs a new coat of paint for the wedding.. i know tt the moment its of a different colour, it wouldnt feel the same anymore. its nt just a room. its my space. its my secret hideout. its where i did so many things. its where i hid from everyone and poured my hearts out. its where i can be my very very true self. i didnt realise that my room has been a faithful support in all situations that i went thru. from the blue days to the pink days... it has always been the same four walls..that saw me thru those growing up years..

as i looked back at past pictures, letters, cards, journals, books.. i felt that for one thing i should be thankful for was that i did have a beautiful chapter as i grew up... and what i am more thankful for is that i still have my dear friends with me till now.. i dun have that many friends. but the ones i have, are more than what i can ever ask for.

i guess its getting really near. as i pack my belongings to move on.. to my humble abode.. and to a new beginning.. i'm thrilled. i'm nervous. i'm gg through yet another transition. i pray tt it will be a good one.

2009-03-14T23:49:00.002+08:00

the 'holidays' is finally here and i'm sick. argh. wat a sucky way to start it off!

i'm working with a super tight schedule. with stacks of marking to complete. exam papers to set. house to settle. wedding preps to settle. i'm hoping to get everything done by end of this march holidays so that when term 2 starts i wont find myself struggling to multi task. otherwise i mite end up super tired end of may. *boo*

i'm looking forward to..
1) tmr.. *wedding*
2) tues.. *cleaning up and appt with decorama*
3) fri.. *cleaning up again*
4) 23rd March.. *xuefen's wedding*
5) end of March..*BONUS*
6) end of March..*planning for June holidays*
7) 4th April.. *syidah's wedding*
8) 23rd May..*i'd be a MRS*
9) 30th May.. *HOLIDAYS*

i would wana catch up on..
1) shopping *seriously*
2) movie dates

2009-03-08T01:53:00.002+08:00

ok firstly, congratulations to lat and suhaimi for tying the knot! very happy for you both.. i take my hats off you guys for all the endurance and faith all those years. god bless you both with love always!

secondly, i am so happy rite now cos i met up with my jc frens at lats wedding. been a long time since i met them..the guys and azmin and taufik especially! amirul looks great with the new haircut. everyones as crappy and fun as ever.. and we took a pic at a super non-glam background. haha. so very the kental. argh. i miss them. i miss us. i miss our jc times. haiz.

chilled with myra and reny after that. it was SO funny! myra is so cute. i didnt know she is THAT funny. hahaha. reny was hot and amusing as usual. had a great great time girls. my god.. i will miss these stuffs when i am married!!

we chatted abt MEN. relationships. dreams. plans. hopes. aspirations. complained quite a bit about this and that too. haha. should do these kinda stuff more often. such a stress reliever.

tmr i will START to clean up my room. and i should write the list of things to do for this march holidays.

tired. sleepy. but happy and rejuvenated. thanks FRIENDS.

2009-02-19T00:54:00.002+08:00

i'm so wide awake. must be the teh peng i had.

what do i do when i am wide awake in the middle of the nite?

i surf blogs. i surf facebook. i blog. i think. i ponder. i reminisce. i reflect.

its already mid feb. isnt it fast? lat is getting married in two weeks time. xf in a mths time. syidah in a mth and a half. and me in three mths time.

as i surfed facebook and browsed through my fren's pics, i remembered those days that i just loved taking pics. gone are those days when i was obsessed with the camera. and not just that, apparently, i've sorta gotten over many other things.

i used to bring a cam wherever i go. but now, i dun even knw where my cam is. needless to say, taking pictures.

i used to look at myself in the mirror every time i pass by one. now, i dun even realise theres a mirror.

i used to be so uptite abt my weight. now its one of the last few things on my mind.

i used to worry abt trivial stuffs in life. like pimples, bad hair days, what clothes to wear. now i worry abt things that are seriously worth worrying.

i used to shop every month. its like a monthly routine. monthly splurge. now, i shop randomly. i buy things as and when. and i shop much lesser.

i used to be so sensitive towards what others say. now i dont really care about what people think.

seriously, i dun know how, why and when i sorta 'changed'..but i am asking myself now.. could it be cos i am older now? so i'm less conscious of how others mite perceive me..? and that my priorities have changed cos of the transition i am going through? or is it because a huge part of my world has changed and i have learnt to accept those changes and adapt to them? *shrugs*

anyways, whatever the cause is, i must say that the changes are kinda good changes. i'm becoming a simpler person. not as complicated as before. and a happier one too.

the past few weeks have been so tiring. to and fro the hse to check on the reno.. its taking up quite some time.. tho i do enjoy every single visit and trip. and i must really thank my family for all their help and support all these while. ESPECIALLY my dad. my dad is the greatest. seriously. my mum is super lucky to have found a husband like my dad. he ALWAYS puts family before him. he has been sacrificing so many of his off days just to help my fiance paint the house. and the fact tt he is so enthusiastic abt it! i haven heard him complain the slightlest bit! really appreciates his help and kindness. me and fiance will definitely treat him to a feast when all is done..! hehehe. and i must also thank my mum for the understanding and support. and for letting my dad spends his off days painting! and for all the food she packed for the 'painters'.. hehe.. and MFB, hang in there. i know all our weekends have been used up for domestic chores!! i'm feeling the pinch too. lets get everything done by march holidays k. insyallah.

so craving for a date. movie date. chill bill with ice cream.

2009-02-10T00:13:00.002+08:00

the past weekend was so tiring. MFB, dad and bros have all combined their 'powers' to add colours to the house. thank you so much my MEN.. haha... really appreciate all the SWEAT.

i did my part by cleaning up the windows and doors. tho i haven done all of them. its just round ONE. but its VERY tiring ok. SO MUCH DUST. sheesh.

bit by bit. hopefully all goes well.

my heaven on earth. so warm and peaceful.

2009-01-31T23:15:00.002+08:00

today was such a boring and mendak day. went to sch in the morning to finish up some work. wanted to go out so badly in the day but ended up sleeping and watching grey's anatomy. didnt even go to check the house.

i made myself happier today by buying the moroccan rose set from Body Shop and this really girlish and pretty set from la senza. the moroccan rose set comes in pink and floral packaging. so pretty.hehe. my boring day wasnt so boring after that. *muahaha*

i miss my monthly shopping. the shopping pattern has somewhat evolved from monthly to randomly. i have no idea which is better.

feb is here. the supposed romantic month. wahaha. i am so not a Vday person. but i like the sales. haha. cos many pretty stuffz wld be on offer.

"red blood cells are sexy and have an hour glass shape". shd i cry or laugh?

*so cute*

2009-01-26T13:58:00.002+08:00

last saturday i had a picnic with my girlfrens. nad, euni, fa, reny, syidah and xuefen were there. it was AWESOME. it was pot luck and we ended up with quite a lot of food!! thanks euni for the main dish. we love your roti kirai and kari daging. i had wanted to make corn pudding but i didnt have the time to do so! so i ended up buying old chang kee and pai kiah pies. hehehe. but i really had so much fun during the picnic. we feasted, looked at fa's wedding pics and played munchkins. have you heard of the game? its so cheem!! euni was practically playing for all of us. only she knows the game since its hers. i was dying to win but syidah won instead! hahaha. we snapped pics and had a really stomach-hurting-laughing-session taking certain shots. i truly missed having such a fantabulous time with the girls. feels like 20 all over again. none of us feel 25. hehe. and i still wana be able to do this when i am already married. like once in a while kinda thing. well he said YES i can still do these stuffz in future so i am gona hold on to the YES. haha.

happy chinese new year to all. may all of us be blessed with a good year.

2009-01-17T15:15:00.002+08:00

blink. blink. two weeks have already passed since 2009 sets in. been busy settling down with school.. getting the kids to tune back to school mode.. everythings going on pretty allrite at work..

been a busy two-week. with EV and the O'level results..

i'm glad the kids did well for their O's. all the effort, sweat and blood had paid off. i was super anxious and nervous for the results. now that its out and over, gotto prepare myself for another round of drilling and hard work. the struggle is worthwhile tho.

savouring every second of this beautiful journey.

2008-12-30T22:26:00.002+08:00

moments of weakness. everyone has their fair share.

we put them behind us. and we move on. we forgive and forget. we learn from mistakes.

welcoming 2009. looking forward to a better life. our future together. god bless us. god bless all of you.

2008-12-21T11:52:00.002+08:00

we are already into our last two weeks of 2008. i'm in great inertia to start work and super duper in denial that school is gona start in two weeks time. my brain's saturated with the wedding and house preps. its normal rite? considering its only about 5 mths away. *geez* but i'm sure when school starts and reality sinks in, work will take my mind off everything else. and before i know it, work will be the one that takes up most of my time. haha. its ok. i know how to focus and prioritise. and i always commit to my passion.

mum's bday is coming up in two days time. still thinking what to get her.

Things to look forward to in Jan..insyallah..

1) MFB's bday *winks*
2) O level results *shivers*
3) meeting with decorama *finally*
4) reno kicks off *super anxious*

need to think of resolutions pretty soon.

2008-12-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

been a very busy 'holiday' thus far. wedding and reno preps REALLY took up my time.

even with the 5 weeks, theres still so many things to settle. and school is starting real soon! only ONE shopping spree in the entire holidays! sheesh. every other outing is with a purpose. this and that. it never ends. but then again, thank god theres holidays. otherwise, it wld prolly be crazier!

how time flies.

i foresee the next few months to be super hectic. so many things to finalise. search. buy. discuss. decide. think. worry. excite.

i still have to get into shape. argh. super un-toned.

this intense liking. these wishful dreams.

2008-12-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

saw edwina's pics of canada... gosh, i'm ENVIOUS. and i think tts an understatement. the pics look prettyyyyy... i wana go there too!!! i wonder if it is still as beautiful in summer. geez. i am so gona ask her for the details.

saw calvin's pics of switz.. i miss switz... and i wouldnt mind going there again. such a romantic, peaceful and relaxing place with lots of gorgeous scenery. i guess i am a sucker for mountains and lakes and anything tt u can call nature!

this time last year and last last year i was having a great holiday with my frens. and where am i now? stuck at home doing lots of research and brainstorming on the house stuffz. its a different kind of fun i must say. but i wld still choose to be out of spore than to be visiting ID companies. muahahaha. *very tiring ok* its giving me a headache. so many things to think of and decide! i cant wait to get down to business.

waiting for pay day.

2008-11-28T21:53:00.002+08:00

i am undecided about too many things. this or that. or neither. sigh.

wedding preps are going fine..gifts hunting is almost done. waiting for a common free day with my dad so that we can go to JB to look for some stuffz. searching for gifts have proven one thing. i'm SUPER FUSSY. wahahaha.

the scar that i hope will go away.

2008-11-24T01:45:00.002+08:00

went for yet another colleague's wedding.. so i've been to park hotel, conrad and trader's hotel in a period of two weeks. another church wedding cmg up. and i have yet to visit mas. argh. i feel so bad. been so busy going around looking for the wedding gifts. today, after many hours of walking, i found my watch. i MUST thank suzi for recommending the brand Folli Follie to me. cos i never knew of this brand till my pretty cuzzin told me about it. i had asked her for any watches to recommend and the first thing she said was "Folli Follie". and i was like wat? is that a lollipop or stg??!! so yah. for those who have nvr heard of this brand, i can totally understand why. they have only three outlets in the entire of Singapore, all of which are in Orchard. the design originates from Greece and according to Suzi they are pretty popular in US. they've got nice accessories too. so u mite wana check it out at Takashimaya.

I still have not fallen in love with any bags. bleargh. i am looking for a white leather handbag tts everlasting. nad says its the season of not so interesting bags. but i did like this particular bag from Sabrina Scalla. but its not so appropiate as a wedding gift.

and i STILL have not found my bridal heels!! my buddy recommended me Loe and Behold. Went to the website and its pretty nice! so i mite go into details with it later. Brides-to-be, you can check out the website too! just google Loe and Behold. LOL. hehe.

i'm feeling it. so fast.

2008-11-16T19:00:00.002+08:00

faridah and zaid finally tied the knot. to celebrate their ten years of love and the many more years to come. i cried during the video montage. they had pics of them since JC.. and all the way till now..the montage was a recollection of good old days.. down memory lane.. some pics just touched me at my softest spot and instantly made me all teary eyed.. the grad pic reminded me of our NUS days..how we struggled for three years before being able to wear the very huge graduation gown and flip the mortar board up into the sky.. but it was a wonderful three years in NUS.. the day that we went out to suntec in our gowns and had our pics taken.. the aussie pics reminded me of 2006..our first ever holiday together and i swear i think about it everyday! been two years since our aussie trip but its still fresh in my mind and i really really miss our aussie days.. the egypt pic reminded me of my holidays last year.. how i badly needed the trip to get away from singapore and had a breather after all the rollercoaster ride in 2007... how time flies. another one married. somehow i crave for those days when none of us were married and we talked about how stressful working life was..! no wedding talks. no reno talks. no house talks. just us and crappy jokes.

i felt a tad touched cos i realised how their true love gave them strength and patience to wait. not everyone can do that. and i am really happy for them.

to fa and zaid, may you both have a blissful marriage and let the flame burn strong forever.

2008-11-14T10:49:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a sinful feast at carousel. the lunch buffet had a huge spread and all so yummy. i ate till my cheeks felt like two big fishballs. it felt heavy whenever i smiled! hahahaha. did a bit of window shopping..the carpark charges rose to a freaking 13 bucks! for 5 hrs. horrible. disgusting. argh.

today is graduation ceremony cum prom nite. officially bidding my form class 5B goodbye. *weeps* had a really wonderful experience having them as my 'little' kids. i will so miss them..! hopefully my next batch of kids would be as great if not better..

xf has gotten a house! woohoo. so in the end, everything falls into place. *smiles* congrats girl. now u have ur own love nest. *winks*

talked to an old fren ytd. interesting things revealed.

tmr fa is getting married. to the love of her life. congrats to you lovebirds. hehe.

i really miss my aussie and egypt holidays.

2008-11-08T18:15:00.002+08:00

of pots and pans. i bot one stainless steel cooking pot ytd. wahahaha. its pretty big. 5.2 litres. as if i wana cook wat like that! anyways it was a good brand with good quality. quite a fun experience choosing the pot with all the other aunties, makciks and housewives.. hehe. they were so excited! i wld only feel that excitement if maybe zara has sale or stg. haha. not over pots and pans. or maybe i shdnt speak too soon.

met up with jas and lat ytd...best nyer.. sooo long didnt meet them. talked abt weddings and financial planning.. and gave each other updates in our lives. i'm happy that both are doing fine and settling down soon.. its abt time! i miss the rest of the TJ clan. today is Azmins birthday and i couldnt find his no in my HP!! argh. I know Azmin prolly wont read this but HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyways! i miss crapping with u.. and sharing thots with u.. hehe.

attended my frens wedding just now. old time fren. she luks so sweet and pretty. wedding dias and food done by Decorama. heh. i had no one to bring to the wedding cos HE is not in town and none of my frens knws this fren. so i had to drag my bro along. wahahaha. watever. better than gg alone.

looking forward to a colleague's wedding tmr at Park Hotel. wee.

i realise that i am less of a camwhore now. seriously. i dun go ard taking pics non stop anymore. i used to be the one always with the camera. but not anymore now. and i think i am more 'private' now. i dun write too much of my personal life anymore. i used to always do that and my MSN nicks always have stg to do with my personal life. i think somehow along the way, i have learnt to be more mindful abt wat i 'expose' and keep certain things to myself. if theres any intimate thots or feelings that i wana share, i figured that i dun need to share it with the whole world. i'd just share it with my closer ones. maybe this change is cos i'm getting older. WAHAHAHA.

brought ah fen to my place just now.. gave them a tour inside and outside the house. hehe. enjoy the whole process of house hunting babe! its tiring a whole lot of fun! hopefully u will be my neighbour!

2008-11-06T12:30:00.002+08:00

i'm so HAPPY that my two buddies have given birth!!

CONGRATULATIONS to...

kima and adil for the arrival of their little hero, Aiman Haqqi!!

Mas and Darny for their darling angel, Mustaqim!!

its BOYS galore. hehehe.

I am so happy for you both!! and I will visit very soon! now let u all rest first k.. I'm sure it was a tiring process! hehe. May you guys enjoy parenthood and i'm sure u guys would make great mummys and daddys. hehe.

2008-11-03T01:12:00.003+08:00

fa is getting married in two weeks time.
kima is giving birth anytime. so is mas.
happening kan!
i am turning 25 in 8 days time. gosh. i so dun feel like 25. i feel 21.
so many weddings this month!!!! must set up wedding fund already..

i went to takashimaya the other day with my parents. went to a couple of shops. needed to look at stuffs for the gift exchange. spotted a watch, bag, bracelet, ring and a pair of bridal shoes. met ah fen aft tt and showed her the stuffs tt i shortlisted. she approved all except fr the heels cos its not nice enuff to be that ex. haha. its 284 bucks. but i love it. ahfen likes small dainty things. i like big chunky things. oh well. must look ard some more. esp fr someone as fickle as me.

i had a great time on sat. feastful lunch at seoul garden. was brought to the newly opened marina barrage. it was the first day they opened. so crowd was bad! but anyways, its a pretty nice place. i can foresee it being the next esplanade kinda thing. and i had my first rivertaxi ride from merlion to clark quay and back. sweet.

my voice cracked as i read out those words. if u noticed. but i know from the look on ur face, ur heart was touched.

2008-10-29T19:26:00.003+08:00

does anyone know when the christmas or end-of-year sale starts? i swear i cant wait! i am on the verge on gg for the long awaited spree but of cos i'd wana do it when the sales has started especially when its round the corner! i wldnt wana shop now only to realise its cheaper later. i dun have that much money to waste! especially rite now, with so much to pay for. to have a wedding and a house at the same time is a VERY effective way to see ur money 'fly away'. so yes, i appreciate all *your* hard work. *smiles*

we finally went down to APKIM. the lady was really friendly. so the date has been fixed. shall just wait for it. in the mean time, we have homework to do. to read up the few booklets they gave. wee!

Bio paper is coming up in two days and i am really nervous abt it. i wish my 4J all the best! please give ur best shot and make me smile!

attended a wedding last week and i somewhat begin to feel that weddings are becoming more and more like a template or SOP. its kinda the same everywhere. but then again its hard to make it really different if we are bounded by customs and traditions. i mean, i wld LOVE a simple solemnisation ONLY. with close relatives and friends. if it was entirely my decision, i'd skip the whole sunday event and just have a simple but enjoyable feast with my loved ones. IF ONLY. oh well, i'm sure traditions have its perks too. it is quite fun i suppose when ppl come together and meet up in such functions aft not meeting fr a long time. its often a chance to have a 'by default' reunion with old frens. mine's gona be at a void deck cos of my parents request.. how different can it be if its gona be at the void deck! so i decided tt its gona be a simple and normal one too. as long as everything is decent enuff, it shd be ok rite.. anyways its a one day affair. its the days beyond that that matters. the new chapter tts long awaited for.

still thinking of the five items.

2008-10-24T22:38:00.002+08:00

a new record has been set. the weighing machine says 45kg!! my goodness. the heaviest i have been is 43. tho i felt a tad heavy, i didnt expect it to be midway 40and 50. i seriously think its the raya goodies. i know i lost weight during fasting. and i was determined to restore my normal weight. but looks like i overdid it!! but i think my fats is gg to the wrong places. argh.

oh and yesterday was the last day of school. yay!!

this holidays is SO gona be hectic!! with the preps and the band practices. and the urgency to polish up my cooking skills. wahahahaha.

2008-10-06T01:19:00.002+08:00

my number seven! still a long long way to go to the 50 mark. hahahaha. if u knw wat i am talking abt. i love my number seven.

contemplating btw a bag for work and a bag for casual wear. which one shd i get???

2008-10-05T01:27:00.002+08:00

the past two days has been sweet and special. in ways that only i can understand. it IS happening and it feels good.

today was fun cos the gal cuzzins raya together. suzie just got back from dubai and coincidentally we were all in shades of pink.. suzie was in bright bright pink and shasha sweet baby pink and me pinkish purplish.. we have all grown up.. NOT. haha. we still behaved the same like how we did when we were 18?? haha. and cam whoring is a lifetime trait. we even dragged the guys. poor guys. they looked SO uncomfortable having to snap the pics here and there. bik imah's hse has so many nice spots to snap.. so its not our fault!

i was happy and glad to see the three abduls having some small talk. when asked what they talked abt, the reply i got was " men's talk". haha. ok. MEN. thank God its not BOYS. hahaha. oh and i realised who is the oldest and biggest amongst the three. haha.

the tree has spread its roots
and i pray it spreads wide and deep
for the tree needs to be firmly anchored to the ground
so as the tree spreads its roots
let me water the soil with tender loving care
may the tree grow well and flower
and bear fruits that sweeter than ever

2008-09-27T21:54:00.002+08:00

i am ALL smiles and i am so very happy!! cos someone has finally said YES to my wish! all the effort has been worthwhile! YAY!!! i must prolly cross out this date cos its a BIG thing to have this wish of mine granted. i am clapping my hands rite now. haha. to myself. haha.

so now i cant wait to be in purple! yay. got raya mood already. *winks*

thank you thank you thank you.

*big fat grin*

2008-09-27T02:32:00.002+08:00

i just came back from geylang. for someone who is not really feeling the raya mood, i am surprised i have been there thrice. well, all for a purpose tho. the first trip was a 30 minute affair just to get some ladies stuffz. the second and third was a mission almost impossible. to find IT. sheesh.

but finally, after all the kepenatan, kepeningan, kepanasan, kerimasan, ke-stress-an, keboringan and ketekunan, i found IT. i endured my neckache and headache just to find IT. and i must thank my mum for accompanying me thruout and putting up with all my fuss. thank YOU. it was like finding a needle in a stack of hay! hope all the effort is worthwhile tho.

bumped into so many ppl at geylang. bestfren, old fren, students, uncle, auntie, ex-acquaitances, ex-colleagues. seems liek the whole world was there. sheesh. thats one of the many reasons why i hate going geylang.

rite now i am just really tired.

*if u could see right thru this*

2008-09-26T01:16:00.003+08:00

i was in pain for the past two days. my neck was the stiffest ever. it must have been the result of months of staring down at my lap top since i like to place my lap top on my lap. haha. and plus my pathetic sleeping posture. i have the whole bed to myself but i sleep like a prawn. all curled up in one tiny corner. and so my neck decided to go on strike and refused to work! it was bad on monday especially after i baked the cookies. but i pressed on to go to work on tuesday cos of ASP and i had to print the exam papers. and i guess it was a bad decision cos my the time i knocked off, the pain was unbearable. i cldnt drive safely cos i cldnt turn to check my blindspot. parking was tougher than ever. so i couldnt turn my head at all. especially to the left side and upwards. breaking fast hurts cos i had to open my mouth. even swallowing my own saliva was painful. i was 'ouching' every few minutes. sleeping was painful too. so i rushed to the doctor right after breaking fast and i was given two days MC. and my neck was reallllyyyy pampered for the last two days. i was massaging it non stop with all sorts of medicated oil.. and i had to swallow pills. argh. hate it.

so tmr is the last day of school. my neck is recovering very well. thank God. guess i really needed the rest. and last weekend of fasting. so sad..time flies.. few more days to raya and ok now i am feeling it a little. i have promised my mum to help her clean up the place this weekend. so no work for the weekend. just me and the spring cleaning.

saw my aunt just now. she is sooooo small now. gosh. i dont know how she does it. i feel comparable to her now. tho i mite be exaggerating. haha. if sumone can become so small within a short time, i wonder if i can become so big withing a short time too. hehe. i wont mind growing bigger. haha.

bik miah's house is huge. overlooking the sea. kaoz. and its cheaper than mine by HALF. well thats cos her house is in JB. haha. but still. HALF. with a sea view and LOTS of space. she gave me some useful tips abt property and investment tho.

i'm supporting mas in her business too. hehe. well just so happen that she is selling stuffs that i am VERY interested in. muahahahaha. *evil lafter* and i think she's gona make me an online shopper soon.

i have been thinking abt so many things. and contemplating abt some stuffz too. wants versus needs. heh. if i want it, i shd just get it rite.. but then i will start thinking abt the needs thats coming up.. i dowan to be spending unnecessarily when i know that there are more important things on the list. but if i dun do it now, wld i ever get the chance to do it..

just how much can i trust my gut feeling. i'm wishing for surprises. been thinking of the things to do during holidays. just hope everything will go as planned. and i really hope the big aim can be met. thats the most important thing.

i realise tt certain things turn out to be just the exact opposite of what i have always wished for.

i wanted to teach bio.. i ended up with mostly chem *but its good now.. i'm starting to like it actually*

i wanted a big house .. i ended up with a tiny one *but i am promising myself its gona be only for a while.. i still wana achieve THAT dream of mine*

call me an idealist. its not necessarily something bad. in fact, its my idealistic nature that has pushed me all these while to always work towards my goals. it is the vision i have that makes me rooted to my aims in life. i am not idealistic. i just dare to dream. and willing to commit.

16 october. an important date on my calendar.

please tell me we are having the same cloud on our heads.

2008-09-21T20:47:00.003+08:00

my fuel is running low seriously. i can feel the drag every single day!! i see the finishing line finally! yet it seems further than ever. BUT, beyond that finishing line is a whole lot of things that i cant wait to pounce on! gosh.

its down to the last ten days of fasting. sadly tho, i am not feeling the raya mood. maybe cos i am more occupied with the big O. or the akan datang. oh ok, wait. i know why i cant feel it. cos firstly, technically, i didnt buy any baju fr this year. mum made one for me, fmil gave me two sets and earlier in jan i bot two pieces cos it was a good deal. haha. so i dun see the need to buy another one now. BUT i do need to buy for that someone. trying to squeeze in time to go to Geylang one of these days to do that. talk abt Geylang, i haven been there. which is also prolly why i am nt feeling it.

what did i do fr the past weekend?

i had consultation in school from 8 to 1. after which i ran errands fr the family, went library to borrow some mags..and... guess wat.. i baked my very first kek kukus!!! unbelievable! many thanks to bik nora. her kek kukus rocks. so i told her to teach me and TA-DA!!! she baked one for my family and i baked one for my soon to be family. insyallah. i think thats my only achievement that deserves credit for this week. haha. i was supposed to bake my chocolate chip cookies but i had to priotise work first. cos i need them by tomorrow. haha. procastination.

oh.. the letter came..! so that made me so excited all over again!! supposed to be this friday.. but of cos, as planned, we will push it all the way till 16th october. i really hope we can do it on the 16th. its a significant date!! oh and the forever-enthusiastic me has decided to be more hardworking in my research. i have decided to borrow as many mags as i can from now till then and scan in all the things tt catch my eye.. so when the time comes, my resources would be ready and i can explain clearly exactly wat i want. they say a picture paints a thousand words. and i bet the many pictures can paint my many gigantic ideas in my head. lol. ok it prolly sounds like i have many wow things in mind. not true actually. just really simple ideas.. but to put simple ideas together somehow isnt that easy! or maybe its just me!

i am going to list down the things to do and places to go to once the school holidays start. by the time school ends, it wld have been like the 3rd week of raya.. so just nice.. done with school.. done with visiting..and then comes more exciting things! really hope to get the W stuffs done by end of november. then can do some shopping in Dec and get the H stuffz more firmed up. please please please.

2008-09-07T15:48:00.003+08:00

its sunday and that marks the end of the september holidays. four more weeks and tt would wrap up 2008 academic year. God knows how thrilled i am to welcome the real holidays. cos theres really a lot of things to do once school ends.

once the End-of-Year exams is over, i can go full swing with all the preparations! been gearing up for it and i cant wait to start the ball rolling.

checked out the progress of the 'akan datang'... not too bad.. doing well.. wanted to snap pics but faris had secretly taken out the memory card. thanks. i brought my camera for nothing! shouldnt lend my camera to my bros anymore. they either use up the batt or take away the card. been too many times tt i wanted to use it only to realise tt it couldnt be used. so irritating!

collected my baju for raya. thank God i was given the kains..otherwise i wldnt have time to search for any outfits.. wouldnt be shopping much for this raya cos i figured tt i can still use watever i have now..lets not waste money.

odel has withdrew his offer for me and suggested something else instead. something more practical. like a washing machine! weow. so disappointed. my big bro has grown.. haha.. he is a different man now.. tts what he said! yah bro.. i cant wait fr raya and u knw why. haha.

just some thots about some things i have observed lately..

God gives us reaffirmation in many different creative ways.
its better not to speak than to speak and cause a lot of hurt.
its bad enuff to misundertand but its worse to mislead.
dun judge ppl based on their mistakes but give them a chance cos they have learnt from it.
the one who insults shd question his values instead of those whom he had insulted. treat others with respect especially when they have not done anything wrong to you.
resolve any unhappiness in a peaceful, civilised and mature way.
listen with an open mind, accept with an open heart.
be willing to give wat you expect to get.
listen to your heart and go all out for it. the winner fights to the very last opportunity.

2008-08-24T00:45:00.002+08:00

today deserves an entry cos it was a great saturday spent with the girls. been such a long time since me and the girls hanged out.. cant even remember the last time we did. with everyone so busy with their husbands and/or their jobs, meeting up seems like a damn hard thing. and finally, after trying so many times, we managed to meet up. tho it wasnt the full strength, it was good enuff.

there was reny, fa, nad, xuefen and me. talked abt work, marriage, wedding, future plans, nus days.. good ol' innocent days.. talked crap and laffed thru the nite.. i feel sooo refreshed!!

we saw the fireworks.. and it was really beautiful.. we like!! reny was the most impressed i think. from all the comments and sound effects that she had. hehe. she always amuses and amazes us. faridah lost so much weight.. soooo slim..nak jadi pengantin apa.. sungguh maintain the figure! pakai payung too! hehe.

oh well, wished the rest was there too but i guess next time? so girls, one buka puasa together and insyallah hari raya k.. hehe

talk abt tt, the fasting month is really coming!! woohoo. i love ramadhan..

focus pocus. the ship is sailing in a different direction now.

2008-07-12T12:36:00.002+08:00

life presents itself in stages. each stage comes with a set of unique challenges. the journey is tough. sometimes we feel happy. sometimes we feel lost. sometimes we hold on to the past that we are blinded by the blessings of the present. sometimes we fear too much of the future that we doubt the path we are taking. and in moments of despair we turn to God for help. to show us the way to happiness. cos every human being desires to be happy. happiness overrules everything else. it completes life. and every single one of us has the rite to seek happiness. its just that for some, the route to that isnt exactly a very simple one.

but someone told me before that happiness is a choice. and perhaps its true. if perfection makes us happy, then we'd never be happy cos nothing is perfect. perhaps being grateful for what we have is a way to feel happy.

and someone also told me before.. what matters is to have someone who accepts ur flaws.. its easy to appreciate the strengths.. but its tough to accept the weaknesses.. accepting the flaws of a person is one of the greatest strengths which is often overlooked.

and all these while i have been praying to God to show me whats best for me. the signs have prolly been there.. but i mite have been oblivious to them.. as one door closes, the other one opens.. two paths that are entirely different..but it takes my own strength to walk thru that opened door. and it takes my own willingness to discover this new path. it takes my own faith to believe in God's plans for me. and to embrace what fate has led me to.

cos i am only his humble creation. vulnerable to my own emotions. hence i need that pillar of strength. if you are the pillar that's meant for me. let u be the strongest pillar that i can ever find. even if its a pillar with dents, as long as you are there for me to lean on. as long as you are there for me to feel safe. as long as you are there when i need you. as long as you be my source of happiness. i'd embrace u and would never let go.

after all that has been said and done. its time to have faith in reality.

thank you God for making it clear.

2008-06-19T21:01:00.002+08:00

the much awaited calendar for semester two is finally out. and the wonderful news is.. there's five weeks of untouched holidays at the end of the year!! woohoo!! so the very the happy! i cld do backpacking for a month!! *ehem ehem*

well, that means i would have ample time to do all the stuffz that i need to do! looking forward to 15th November. hehehe.

semester two is so short! with all the exams being pushed forward, the number of teaching weeks is reduced.. its gona be a very tight schedule..*breathes in deeply*

oh..this is stg i picked up from the staff meeting just now and i thot tt its kinda catchy and very true..

" If you DO what you always DID, you will GET what you always GOT "

'okay' is not good and 'good' is not good enough. let's go for GREAT.

i am loving the good weather.

2008-06-15T15:37:00.003+08:00

i spent the last few days and nites reflecting on myself and my life. and i really thot deep about so many things.. several sleepless nites due to my 'holiday biological clock'.. when i cant sleep, i think. heh.

i duno what is it .. but i feel refreshed. like a new desire to make myself a better person. i am far from perfect and have way too many faults and areas to improve on. but i want to be someone better. a better daughter. a better sister. a better partner. a better teacher. a better friend. a better me. not that i am going to make major transitions.. i will take small steps..but at least i am moving.

a better daughter:
- spend more time with my parents
- give in more to my parents

a better sister:
- spend more time teaching my brothers
- spend more time hanging out with my brothers

a better partner:
- be more optimistic
- be more supportive
- learn how to cook!

a better teacher:
- better time management
- more engaging lessons

a better friend:
- be more supportive
- be less tactless

a better me:
- be less complicated
- be less paranoid
- be more conservative
- be more thrifty!
- be more disciplined

*smilez*

2008-06-09T00:15:00.003+08:00

been watching SATC..i feel like i wana be a writer and write about love too. cos i have so much to say for this topic.

i hate it tt its soccer season now. argh.

spent the day teaching my bro for a while and helped out with baya's wedding gifts at khai's place..

i guess building a new life together is an exciting journey thats meant to be savoured.. so much to be shared, so much to learn, unlearn and relearn. its the best thing if u realise u've chosen the rite man who can make u happy for the rest of your life. but not everyone lives a fairytale i suppose. its a nitemare if u realise u've chosen the wrong man.

i think its important that both people want the same thing. how do u walk down a common aisle when u have different directions in life..

its a rather tiring day.

2008-06-01T20:34:00.003+08:00

everyone's safely back. i'm so glad and happy. alhamdulillah..lonely no more.. hehe..

but i MUST say THANKS to nad and xuefen for accompanying me for two nites!! if not for you girls, i'd prolly watch MORE 'interesting' shows on tv.. hahaha..national geography..discovery channel.. sheesh.. weow.

thanks mum and dad for the souveneir from switz. definitely will be useful. so THAT and the clock. (which i have yet to see) hehe. the first two items.

i have one kain for hari raya already..need to find a tailor now.. thank YOU..

ok so now i am more hyped up for the holidays.. haha..*yeah rite*

2008-06-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

watched sex and the city with nad and xuefen. love the show. such a girl's show. a happy ending.

love.

i miss my family so much. they are in switz and i'm home all alone. but they are coming home tomorrow evening insyallah.

would we be like the girls in many years to come..

ppl make mistakes. some mistakes hurt. but at the end of the day love forgives and brings them back together.

life isnt a fairy tale. happy endings dont always exist.

2008-05-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

i wish i can run away and hide somewhere right now.

i want to be in white desert and staring at the stars again.

where all the troubles seem so far away.

a tad fast.

2008-05-11T00:38:00.002+08:00

finally out on a saturday! no chem-therapy session.. went to town to get my Mother's Day present.. thank god we found the bag that my mum wanted.. luckily you saw it! it wasnt a wasted trip after all! despite the expensive parking charges. sheesh.

and urs truly finally got a wallet...decided not to get the coach one and settled for Braun Buffel..its in Grey..sounds boring huh.. hahaha.. but it looks not too bad to me..*winks*

and today, i was pleasantly surprised. up and around..!truly appreciated. thank YOU so much..i'm sure u could see how excited i was.. hehe.. *smilezzz*

i am so glad we have conceptualised one of the most important things .. i'd do the admin work soon.. *giggles* the only way to get the best outcome is through open conversations and good communication..lets keep up this habit.

and... not forgetting of course..Happy Mother's Day to the angel who had brought me to where i am now.. MUM.. you are the best thing in my life.. thank YOU for EVERYTHING.. and i know nothing can be more than what you have given me thus far.. we LOVE you.. *muakz*

2008-05-08T23:47:00.002+08:00

watched 'what happens in vegas' just now.. i likeeee.. its so my type of show.. very light hearted.. romance comedy.. i had such a good laff..

some of the stuffz tt i like from the show..

"i'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something and be miserable"

"i've always tried to please others yet never feel good enough..but its when i tried not to please you that i found myself"

"my future ex ex wife" - go figure.

next in line..iron man.. sex and the city..

2008-05-06T23:40:00.002+08:00

6th May 2008.

One of the biggest decisions I had to make. and i am so glad its settled.

such a stressful process. i couldnt even sleep with a peace of mind. and needless to say, it was hard to focus on other things.

now i can finally breathe. *inhales*

fickle. its a trait that will stick with me prolly for the rest of my life. heh.

2008-05-01T22:37:00.002+08:00

we wanted to watch Awake. was so looking forward to it. only to realise its no longer showing. n we only found out when we were at the cinema itself. was super disappointed. and we were not too keen on the other shows that were being shown.

ended up walking ard. bought a pair of heels. *yay* nad bot crocs! hehehe. she was one happy woman after getting the flats.

met up with reny for a while at almajlis. we chilled for a while before she had to go off. reny always cheer us up with her antics. heh. she's one cute hot babe turning into a makcik *giggles*

came back feeling so tired... sat in the train.. been some time.. observed the people around me.. started thinking about stuffz. hate my thinking mode. i will start to imagine things and worry unnecessarily.sigh.

friends come and go. will there be those who come and stay.. will it be as good ten years down the road..

before and after. why such distinct differences. isnt it supposed to be a good thing. isnt a good thing supposed to be for the better? or am i being judgemental. maybe i am. but sumtimes superficial things do matter. and small gestures make a big difference. sumtimes i think i am too idealistic. and i dun quite like disappointments. especially those that i think are avoidable. oh well.

its not a perfect world that we live in. we make the best out of the imperfections.

good luck.

2008-04-28T22:10:00.002+08:00

i am just so glad Monday is over! thank God it went smoothly.

and we finally cleared our queries. yay. my first time there.

cant wait for Labour Day. *yay*

harold and kumar was funny! and i loved the poem Square root of 3.. touching!

anticipating May.

hope all goes well too :)

2008-04-23T20:54:00.003+08:00

i feel extra tired today. four hours straight with no prior lunch. i was gg flat towards 3.30.. and the hot weather didnt help.

week 6. and i can really feel the drain. cant wait for friday. next week will be a short thanks to exams and labour day! yay.

i'm super distracted!! so much thoughts and imagination is going on in my tiny head. *winks*

thank YOU.

2008-04-19T18:57:00.002+08:00

today is such a boring day. woke up early to go to school. chem therapy session. had to eat indomee in my tiny mug cos i had no time to grab a proper breakfast. went back to have lunch and out again to pasir ris for a while. came back and sleep. and thruout, i just felt really blah the whole day. i dun really like this feeling.

restless. its coming to may. but oh well. doesnt make any difference.

five more months to the Big O's and i am getting freaking worried for all my graduating classes. this year's pretty tough cos i am taking 4 graduating classes. 3 taking O levels and 1 taking N levels. geez. and with Bio having the new syllabus. its almost as good as doing it for the first time. but like what i was told before "the first time doesnt mean it has to be bad".. and i guess my first time in 2007 was quite allright..as nervous as i was last year, this year, its triple the load. i think i'll be a zombified wreck in term 4. but sumwhere deep in my heart, something's telling me that the kids will be able to do well at the end of the day..and i pray that they will have a happy ending. sometimes teaching doesnt feel like a job.. it just feels like a lifestyle.. haha. *hmm* about 2 more weeks of teaching before the mid year exams kick in. the clock is ticking really fast. my dear students, time to wake up and focus.

guess i am gona spend my june jolidays having extra lessons for the grad classes. and band practise. haha. when nad and xf are in europe.. and baya and fa are in US...gosh.. i really have to console myself big time and sumhow come up with a big fat lie for myself that my holidays can still be exciting. my only hope for it to be more happening is THE preps. but even that, i'm not too sure too.

this year feels a tad different cos i dun have that DEC trip to look forward too. for the past two years, every day seems a bit easier when i think of the big reward at the end of the year. but this year, there's no reward at the finishing line. so how do i make this race feel more survivable??

been thinking about dreams and desires. goals and aspirations. what is life without a dream. a dream remains a dream if nothing is acted upon. as idealistic as i am, i do believe that dreams can come true.. and what have i been doing all my life..i've been very committed in bringing myself closer to realise my dreams. a step at a time. but i never stopped believing. and i never stopped wanting it. i push myself and sumtimes i push myself hard. sometimes i do ask myself if its worth it cos life's unpredictable anyway. but i guess that stuborn part of me always puts me back at the path where i wana be. i just hope that along the way, God will help me and shower me with his blessings amidst the challenges.

wldnt it be easier if all were earthians rather than martians and venusians. two different worlds who cant be without another. how ironic.

tell me the gameplan. cos my enthusiasm is running low.

2008-04-13T23:27:00.002+08:00

finally went for a shopping spree. tho i didnt buy much. only managed to get a pair of shoes, pants and a dress. finally i bought shoes. i actually liked another pair but no size.. as usual!! grrr. wanted to get flats but ended up with heels. of well, i bought it still since even heels is hard to get for my tiny weeny feet. so now i have to keep on searching for the flats. hahaha. i love the dress that i bought! finally a white one! yay. the pants is SO-SO.. black office pants. how interesting can it get. BORING.

someone was so happy with three tops and pants and jeans. heh. finally!

saw a wallet that i quite like. undecided if i should get it. sigh. wanted to buy a bag but the shop was closed. gosh.. so many shops were closed. whats up with that!

parking fetched up to $10.70. How ridiculous. argh. heartpain. having a car squeezes the cents out of the pockets. tho i wasnt the one paying, i cld still feel the pinch.

i'm not satisfied yet! still wana shoppppp....till the next time that i am free.

2008-04-10T22:40:00.002+08:00

been such a hectic week and yet theres more to come. i wish i can be a tai tai at times. sleep till noon.. wake up with breakfast or brunch in bed.. milk bath.. hahaha. rite. in my greatest dreams.

finally its all good. i guess.

00181. surprise surprise. well, lets wait and see and hope for the best.

was a tad biased initially. i can be really superficial at times. but at closer look, it aint too bad after all. slowly opening up to it. the thot excites me.

sports carnival coming up this sat. hopefully i get to have a girls day out on sat. and sun has been reserved for shopping! when was the last time i did that!! so, gear up fr the long awaited spree... muahahahaha *evil lafter*

the second one. :)

2008-04-03T23:11:00.001+08:00

i'm just waiting.

2008-04-02T21:03:00.002+08:00

its already april. how time flies.

been reflecting for quite a bit for the past few days. i miss so many things. i miss school. i miss being 20. i miss my gfs. i miss NUS. i miss being a student. i miss tasmania and melbourne. i miss egypt. i miss those good times. i miss having fun. i miss the cheap thrills. i miss laffing out loud at fast food places. i miss having the time to day dream. i miss the strolls and the sprees. i miss binging. i miss the past.

so much has changed i guess. one step further but reality still hasnt set in. cos nothing much has been done thus far. sometimes i am scared. of whats to come. denying the fact tt i am turning 25 this year. a quarter of a century. gosh, suddenly i dun seem so youthful anymore. teen-age is way over. young adult? perhaps.

i wish for a million things.
my mind doesnt stop wondering.
my brain is forever thinking.
if only life is as ideal as i imagine it to be.
imperfections.

2008-03-29T23:36:00.002+08:00

today was such a busy day. 3 consultation sessions in the morning. back to back from 8.30 to 1.00. followed by khai's assignment. and met up with the agent. and went to the bank. finally. insurance is settled. and the long overdue task is also done. finally there's time to do all these. phew.

just made coffee. so much stuffz to do. esp when tmr is an all day outing. cant wait to feast.

i'm ready to shop. haha. but i haven found a suitable time yet. such a tight schedule this term. really cant wait for may to start planning proper. *winks*

2008-03-18T22:38:00.002+08:00

it doesnt feel like day 2 week 1 at all. somehow it feels like week 4. i'm super tired. argh. haven been eating much too. gfs planning to have lunch on friday.. nie buddies planning to have dinner.. hmm. ONE holiday. so many plans. weow.

chatted with vannessa for a while ytd. miss her and my other two nie babes. sigh. miss nie so much. its HEAVEN there. hahaha. depsite the much dreaded travelling time, nie was such a breeze. u are neither teacher nor student. hehe. a nice in between.

van is so lucky..babe i'm so jeles lah! i suggested bora bora for her short getaway and she fell in love with the pictures instantly. haha. who wouldnt! at least she has plans for some short getaway! i dun even have ANY plans for ANY getaway. seriously frustated about that. haiz. pathetic nyer...

and i just realised i haven been shopping for THREE months. so long! maybe my mum's words is coming true.. just shop once in six mths. gosh. eww. maybe i need a shopping spree. been too long. i dun even have new clothes to wear to work. and the black heels is long overdue. and the wallet too! grrr. i have no idea how i managed to survive three mths of no shopping. somehow its appeal has faded.. and i am worried abt that! how can i lose my love for shopping! stg is SERIOUSLY wrong here! this is SO not me!

i need SOMETHING. ANYTHING. argh. ti rejuvenate me.

been a while since i..
1) jogged
2) shopped
3) cooked
4) chilled with my gfs
5) swept
6) swam
7) sleep early

gosh. wat on earth have i been doing then. watever.

2008-03-16T16:19:00.002+08:00

ytd two of my good friends got engaged. gosh. its kinda overwhelming. one after another getting engaged or married. even when i surfed frenster, so many ppl from my batch put up engagement or wedding pics. suddenly i feel a tad old. geez.

its kinda scary. being in the 20s is so full of transition. from school to work. from student to teacher. that itself is full of challenges and a whole lot of changes. prioroties. expectations. wants. needs. desires. mentality.

and for many of my friends, from being single, to engaged to married. and if they have kids soon after, from a daughter to a mother! i think that wld be the greatest leap. geez.

ytd my favourite B told me that the sad truth is that once u get married.. slowly the friendship will fade.. and friends will drift apart cos everyones busy with their own committment. tho i think this is somewhat true, i am trying to deny the possibility of it happening.. i started to imagine how it wld be like a few years down the road.. i cant imagine losing contact with my girlfriends.. cos i grew up with them..went through so much with them.. its sad to think tt one day, we mite not be as close as how we used to be.. and i made a promise tt i am not gona let that happen. no doubt we prolly cant chill and hang out as much, but on important occassions, we shd still meet up and catch up with each other. we should still remember each other birthdays and occassionally just drop an sms..

sigh.. now that i think abt it, i thank God that i was given the chance to spend some really good times with my gfs during my youth.. like travelling to melbourne, tasmania and egypt..i'd NEVA forget the experience..and even the small stuffs like spending time after work...our annual hari raya visiting affair..our frequent 'deep' conversations about 'life'..hehe. aww..i'm feeling so nostalgic now. cant believe i will be turning 25 this year. so adult. but i dun feel like one at all. haha.

so i went to mas's sis's wedding.. i like the concept for the dias.. very girl... trying to get ideas for mine..tho i think its prolly gona be whitish/cream kinda tone..mas suggested arabic theme.. haha. belly dancers? hahaha. well, we'll see.. lets look forward and time will past much faster that way.. and then May comes and its busy time ..."

cant wait. anticipating with a smile each day.

2008-03-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

sweden. norway. spain. swiss.

i like. soooooo much. *smiles*

its great.

2008-03-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

i really wish i have a holiday plan. xf and nad have already bot their tix to europe. oh how i envy them. urgh.

tonite i am gona lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.

thinking.

are u thinking of me cos i am thinking of you.

wishing. missing. wondering.

sleepless. and shit. that sad song is in my head. i hate this time of the month.

2008-02-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

in the morning, i had old chang kee puffs for bfast. cos sumone went an extra mile to make me smile. heh. tho i didnt quite smile.

in the afternoon, i did quite a lot before knocking off. such a satisfied feeling. its not always, and i mean RARE that i get to do a significant amount of work after school. theres always this and that.. but today, i was peacefully left alone to do loads of marking. so so happy. i marked SEVEN stacks of worksheets! is that an accomplishment or what! and i even managed to record the marks both in hard and soft copy tau! *three stars for me*

had postmortem of my lesson observation. *grinz* =)

in the evening, we had a meaningful talk. promises were made. and we plan to keep them. *smiles*

not really luking forward to tmr. super duper long day.

gona help khai with her berkats this sat. gosh. one more week. weeweet.

2008-02-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

i went to central to do a few things.. bought my POP..hahaha.. deposit some money..update the bank book.. and spent a good 15 mins at my all time favourite BIG bookshop looking thru 501 MUST-SEE WONDERS OF THE WORLD!

gosh.. among the 501, i think i have been to like 10?? haha. so i have 491 more places to go. hahahaha. yah rite. ok lemme see.. there was the 12 apostles, cradle mountain, lake lucern, swiss alps, blue mountain, waimangu volcanic village, lake tapau, matterhorn and a couple more that i cant remember. I am just really surprised that they dont have Egypt in the book! how can they miss the Pyramids and white desert!! Nad said that i should write in to the author and recommend the White Desert. So then the author got to change the title to 502!heh.

oh well, that kinda made me really want a holiday this year. In 2006, i was motivated by my dec trip to tasmania and melbourne. in 2007, i was motivated by my Bangkok and Egypt trip. In 2008.. i have no holiday plans!!! oh my god. thats bad!!

my colleague asked "wats ur plans for march holidays?" and i kept quiet. started thinking. "gosh! no plans!! how come i am not thinking of holidays! freaky!"

it was my dream to go europe before i settle down. and.. from the looks of it, i wont be able to fulfil that dream! thanks to my super packo june holidays! and dec hols is kinda out cos its winter and i wld prolly be busy doing preps. heh. how cow..

this is week 9. so fast. week 10 is almost non existent cos the whole school has things gg on. and then the march holidays. maybe i shd start planning. its only 7 days. not much to plan. maybe i should use the time to start surveying around..*urgh* so lazy..

two more weeks to khai's big day. we all cant wait!!

2008-02-23T11:05:00.001+08:00

woohoo! i just came back from khairun's hen party!! soooo best.. hehehe.. i like! i think i was the most excited for it. heh. or at least i showed the most excitement. it was really fun and we all had such a great time together!

khai was pleasantly surprised! thanks to amir, her fiancee, everything went smoothly! we set up the room with candles and balloons.. so romantic tau!! khai was blindfolded all the way from east coast to her room in Pasir Ris! and the look on her face when she opened her eyes was priceless!! hehehe. i'm so proud of my gfs and amir! for putting it all together! we are really efficient planners! from travelling to now hen parties! and we decided to keep the party hats for upcoming hen parties! hahahaha. one whole reban of ayams. *winks*

oh by the way..our hen party had no dancers or watsoever that you are thinking ok! Ours was clean fun! girl fun! we had pizzas and baked cupcakes. PRETTY CUPCAKES!! so syiok! we had such a hilarious time baking them. everyone got one big heart shape cupcake with their own personalised frosting! and we all agreed sara's was the nicest. but sara said mine's really pretty! hahaha. the cupcakes were yummy and sweeeeettttttt... so gorgeous we didnt wana eat it. hahaha. after the cupcakes, we had our question game! hahaha. poor khairun got bombarded with exciting questions! But her answers were so boring lah! such safe and textbook answers!!

after the spicy questioning game, we kinda shifted to the more serious stuffz about marriage and all.. shared our thots abt some stuffz.. hehe. but nothing too cheem cos none of us is married YET.

we stayed up and chit chatted till 5 am..and all of us knocked out till morning. I rushed back home for my cuzzins wedding. so much to do this weekend!

cant wait for tomorrow!

2008-02-20T23:00:00.002+08:00

was watching this show on tv. so sweet lah the guy confessed his feelings. haiz. nyiut nyiut nyiut.

its been great.

2008-02-19T22:51:00.002+08:00

was looking through mas and kima's wedding pics.. felt a tad emotional for a while..my friends for over ten years...shared their good and bad times.. and now they are happily settled down with their Mr Right.. how nice kan.. hehe.. but they are total opposites.. mas had so many chapters.. while kima had like basically only one. one long chapter with a happy fairy tale 'ending'. but either way, they have started a new life now. life as a DUO. hehe.

was watching kpak bing bing. i think its a great show. addressing real issues yet in the most entertaining way. najib ali is a genius. the topic discussed today was on challenges of a marriage. and what the uztadz said is so true. the first challenge newly weds face is to get used to each other's differences. accomodating to each other. that both the guy and girl are from different families with different backgrounds and different lifestyles. its not easy to have two different systems trying to unite as one. and like wat najib asked.. how do you find the similarities amidst the differences..

cos i think most of the time, as humans, we tend to focus on the differences between us and our partners and we complain so much about it.. and in doing so we overlook our similarities which could be our strength..

should we have expectations? according to the experts, yes! its normal and allright to have expectations cos it kinda acts as a guide for the partner to make us happy. i mean we need to know what the other party expects of us so that we know what to do rite.. and its imp to do know what to do cos what we do or dont do can make someone happy or sad..

there were two couples who mentioned about the challenges parents face in bringing up their children...i think parenting is an extremely tough job. coming from a career which moulds the future nation.. i must say that i take my hats off parents who have successfully educate their children to become someone with character and succeed in life in every way that they define it. i've been brought up with a lot lot lot of love, care and attention and i hope to be able to do the same when i do have my own family. insyallah.

so knowledge is very imp in preparing oneself to overcome the challenges in a marriage. Knowledge brings awareness and creates a sense of responsibility. and the best is to have knowledge based on religious grounds. hehe. seeeee.. tho i watched tv, i made sure it was super worthwhile. hehe. *claps*

anways, theres more than 10000 applicants for the bimthly sale of flats. how pathetic. super slim chance now. haiz. so little land for so many people. hehe.

and i miss you every single day. do you know this?

2008-02-17T15:28:00.002+08:00

we went house visiting yesterday. coincidentally it fell on a special date. a simple yet nice way to spend the saturday. i feel a tad closer. which is good!

so round one is over. hehe. and there should be many more rounds coming up. *winks*
insyallah.

my life has changed a little. ever since my lap top crashed, i have less 'homework'. now i have other things to look forward to. its not just about work work and work. tho work is still important and will always be, theres other things thats making me happier. i feel like my life is more balanced now. i've slowly adapted to the demands of my job and hence can manage my time better. i have more time for everything else that matters in my life. and i feel good about it. weekends feel more like weekends as compared to last year. but i know there will be the 'peak' season whereby i will be drowned by work but thats normal. every job has its peak and offpeak seasons. hehe.

and i've also learnt to find time to enjoy some simple pleasures of life. like some fresh air after work. mini chill outs with gfs whenever possible. just really trying to get myself to start exercising. been a long time. i need some push. hint hint.

so many people applied for the bimthly sale of flats. haiz. slim chance already! can only pray hard for it.

going to TM later with mum cos need to find heels. heels has become more important now! if you know wat i mean.. hahaha.

2008-02-16T01:21:00.002+08:00

met up with xuefen and nad for a while. lucky xuefen is gg germany tomorrow. heh. have a safe trip girl and pleeeeaaassseeee try to make it fr the outing when u come back k. had a good chat and laff with the two of them. the tampines girls. hehe.

looked thru egypt pics in syidahs frenster. cant believe i really went there. i miss it so much. i feel grateful for having the chance to see other parts of the world. syidah had some 'old' pics.. made me realise how long i have been frens with her.. since sec 1. tts like 11 years now..

and how time flies..khai, syidah and mas had been with me since sec 1..reny since jc and the rest of my darling angels.. i met them in uni..tho we are all working now and slowly one by one is getting married, we are still there for each other. we all put in effort to meet up, hang out, keep each other in the loop and keep the beautiful friendship going. i dun have THAT many friends. but my dearest girls makes up for the numbers cos they are really special and i dont knw wat i wld do without them.

and having been to melbourne, tasmania and egypt with some of them, it really makes my youth more memorable and meaningful. like i'd wana share all my stories with my kids one day..tho now i am sharing it wit my students.. hehe.

and i wonder how it will be when khai is already married. geez. if khai junior comes along it will be a brand new experience for all of us! our first friend first child. hahaha.

the three things that makes my world: my family, my biscuit and my eight darling gfs.

cant wait for the 22nd girls.
cant wait for may 09 dear.

2008-02-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

today i found a confidential letter in my dip tray. and its the pay increment confirmation! yayness!! alhamdulillah!

cant wait for march and april! hehehe. someone is sooooo lucky to get annual increment before the revised increment. hehe. *rolls eyes cheekily*

today is the very much overrated valentines day. my students asked for sweets and i told them that i am sweet enuff. hahaha. and i am the biggest sweet they can ever have. hahaha. watever. just kidding :P but i like their response. heh.

in high spirits today cos tomorrow is HALF day! yay! thanks to the good O Level results of the 2007 batch! weeweet.

i love the breeze
i love the warmth
i love every second of my greatest simple pleasure
it rejuvenates me
it assures me
its my secret solace

2008-02-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

the cny break is coming to an end. a few more hours to the start of school again. feeling the bluez rite now. geez. wonder if i am the only one feeling this way.

its such a boring day today. work and more work. was feeling pretty excited about stuffz the past few days. but sumhow the feeling kinda faded away. maybe i got too excited too soon. premature enthusiasm.

think i'm back to normal mode. think of normal things. talk of normal stuffz. normal is fine. its just not as fun.

2008-02-09T13:24:00.000+08:00

i was surfing on holiday destinations (what i always do to kill boredome) and i am falling in love with...

1) NORWAY!!!
2) Banyan Tree Resorts (the one at Maldives really make me wana)
3) Spain
4) Grand Canyon, Arizona
5) Canada

i really wana go Norway. gorgeous nyer.

2008-02-09T12:24:00.000+08:00

the past few days had been full of girl talk and my own thinking through of stuffz.

had a good talk with reny about the What IFs in life. Me and Reny are two thinking machines. Thinking seems to be our default mode. and that sux big time. cos we think too much. But reny did share some meaningful thots on the What IFs. theres just too many what ifs. but whats the meaning of thinking about the IFs cos it didnt happen that way anyway. Whats the point of questioning why certain things happened cos it already happened. Reny is gg thru a grieving process and as she does, she learns a lot of things which she shared with me. We both agreed that we want someone who isnt there with us only during happy times but to also be by our sides when we are at our lowest. and when u say I LOVE YOU, just how much do you actually love the person..

me and reny were discussing about the diff types of men we have come across..

- the 'smart' one who makes us look and feel stupid
- the sweet talker who's full of honeyed words
- the persistant one who mite appear desperate at times
- the over confident one who seems so pretentious and full of ego
- the patient one who takes all our shit but still lack of some 'essential criteria'
- the temperamental one
- the manipulative one
- the BORING one
- the PIOUS one
- the one who doesnt praise (every girl needs to be praised..why men just dont get this simple rule?)

hehe. maybe thats why our lives is a tad complicated. theres just too many different kinds out there. hehehe. and what nad said is true.. if we can need sooooo long just to choose the right pair of shoes, what more when we wana choose the man whom we gona spend the rest of our lives with!! Of cos we would think damn much cos we want the BEST. amd i think we have every right to do that. hehe. but one thing i've learnt, theres no PERFECT match. and i mean PERFECT. so its a matter of how we can live with the differences. some differences are way off. some differences are worth adapting to.

had a meaningful talk with kima too. gosh.. my dear childhood fren is happily married with the love of her life. i'm so envious!! in a good way of cos.. sumhow talking to her inspired me.. hehehe. i'm just really really happy for her cos she has gotten the happiness she deserves. She gave me some useful advice and survival tips. thanks girl. i totally appreciate your views.

was supposed to meet mas and khai and syidah for WOMENs talk..but too bad i cldnt make it. thanks to being sorta grounded. boo. well anyways, it did me good cos i had so much time to myself to think about stuffz.

i got down to listing the things i wanted for my wedding and plan a timeline on when to do what. kima said i'm so organised and its a good thing! so, huge pat for me! now i'm thinking of the financial part. thinking on how i should go about it.

there seems to be so much to think about. hahaha. but oklah...seems quite exciting.

i've assigned roles to some of my frens for the wedding preps..
nad - media surveyor (helps me to surf the net for weddings stuffz since she is always online with me!)
khai and fa - advisor (since they have gone thru the experience)
xuefen - the one who will knock sense into me (cos she is sooo practical she will have to make sure i dun get swayed by temptations)
reny - the insider (since she knows what goes on backstage, she wld be able to give me some 'under table' info)
baya - maybe my food taster? (not sure yet cos i think catering will be under my mum's charge)
euni and syidah - help me look thru mags? (i know syidah is always free at work.. but euni is always bz.. so its ok if she cant..)

and everyone is welcomed to follow me go survey around. i definitely will need some girl companion at times!

the CNY break has been a good break so far. cos i have been at home most of the time. slept. marked. and now its saturday. going to do some work. supposed to go to khai's place later but i feel sooo damn lazy can.. boo! and gosh talk abt khai..my bestie is gona be married in a mths time!!! exciting kan. lucky girl. dapat hubby. dapat rumah. hehe.

ok i think i have blogged enuff. gona do some work now. i so wana savour every second of this break. cos once monday comes, everythings gona be on bullet train mode. its gona be week 7!! so fast! gosh.

ok peepz. till my next free time.

2008-01-27T19:53:00.001+08:00

Geez. The nerve wrecking week is finally over!

I'm so happy that my Bio class has 100% passes!! i was so very relieved when i found out about it. tho i was a tad disappointed with the distinction rate, i comforted myself by telling myself that most of them obtained a B3. which is not TOO far from a distinction. Well its over and done. important thing is to learn from the past experience and make changes for the better. Shared the results with my current 4J and told them what I needed to. They told me that they can get me a 100% distinction rate! I told them that I would bring the whole class to Australia if that really happens. tho it will be miraculously possible, its not IMPOSSIBLE. so i changed to BATAM. hahaha.

Its great to see most of my 5A kids doing pretty well for their Science. So happy for them! And what touches me was my former 3E kids came to me and happily shared with me their results. I still remember how different they were 2 years back. And the conversations i had with them in trying to make them realise their true potential. It all ends well, and thats what that matters.

The 'best' thing is, I have to go through the whole anxiety again! another cycle of drill and practice! so to all my graduating students, lets work together to make it happen.

25th Jan went well. Alhamdulillah. Such a memorable evening.

I'm starting on a fresh page. lets make it a beautiful chapter.

Ytd was sufyan's aka baby oyan's bday party. he turned one! so cute lah that boy. geram! ate so much and shared pics with everyone! chit chatted with my cuzzins..picked up one or two useful tips to 'survive'..

i just love bik miah's house. such a nice and unique ambience. wish i can have a place like that. wish i can have my own place for that matter!

this week seems to be another exciting week.
mon.. meet my gfs. i miss reny the MOST.
wed.. movie with nad and fa.. and maybe more?
sat.. date
sun.. kima's wedding!!!

gosh. i am soooo gona miss kima when she gets married and shifts to Jurong. so far!! haiz..

luking forward to week 6.. for the 'long' CNY holidays! lets start planning!! hmm.. shopping cant be much in my plans now cos of the more urgent need to save up! *gulps*

and so i'm safely blinged. *smiles*

2008-01-20T11:32:00.000+08:00

been such a loooooongggg time since i blogged. pretty busy cos school has started and theres so much happening this month. exciting january!

ever since i came back from egypt, i begin to have a slightly different view on life. If all these while i have been so busy working and neglecting other aspects of my life, now i am beginning to realise tt theres much more to life than work. we work to live. not live to work. tho work is still important, there's also other things in life that deserves as much attention and time. i duno what is it about egypt that makes me have this change in mindset. hehe. maybe cos of their laid back lifestyle. i remember the image of the egyptian women sitting by their houses not doing anything. just letting time pass by. hehe. somehow it seems so nice to just do that.

went to khai's place a few days back. so best lah to have ur own house. gosh. cant wait to have my own. hehe. exciting. especially for someone who has been dreaming about it since 10?? haha. i have so many ideas of how i want my house to be. i just hope that my dreams can come true one day. insyaallah.

05th jan was meaningful and touching.
19th jan was nice. sweet.
24th jan ???
25th jan ??

hope everything will go smoothly on the 24th and 25th. i am so nervous and worried. excited at the same time. a few more days only!!

suzie is finally engaged. hehe. congrats girl.

2007-12-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

i finally got down to writing the things i wana buy and the things i need to do.

felt so happy listing my wish list.. but felt so stressed listing my must do list! oh my god. help help. i'm so in inertia mode.

and i am feeling so emo nemo. partly cos i am listening to love songs. sappy love songs! partly cos i miss egypt.. and now that i just listened to Irreplacable, i miss melbourne and tasmania. the power of songs. weow.

i am beginning to reflect on 2007. but i dun really wana think abt it cos i am supposed to do it like on eve of new year. haha.

my hari raya haji is super boring. boo.

theres so many things on my mind. so my mind's busy but i'm not.

two meetings tmr. that should bring me back to reality. but i also have a sat day out. so tt mite put me back into holiday mood! i haven shopped for far too long. and the urge is strong. like super duper. thinking of a suitable date to shop. my long list of things add up to a bomb. urgh!

mum's bday is coming up. she wants a grandchild. geez. i am not even married! well she was joking. and she better be.

cant believe hady won the first asian idol. beginning to find him quite cute. haha.

i feel old. 24. some girls are married with kids. and i am still lalalala-ing. i cant wait to have my own house. stg tt i have been dreaming about since young. i really want a pretty house. something that illustrates my feelings, dreams, inspirations, passion.. it has to be the next best thing to heaven. of cos it wont happen in a blink of an eye.. but i wana slowly build a beautiful home. a place where i can feel peaceful and appreciative of God's blessings. i want it so much tt i can see it each time i close my eyes. its a vision. and i wana make it come true.
insyallah.

2007-12-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

i'm physically back from my holidays! but mentally and emotionally, i am still in egypt!! gosh i am so suffering from a hangover. it doesnt help tt i am slightly under the weather. work is haunting me but i have yet to come back to reality. i am so in denial!! HELP!

i had a fantabulous time in egypt. in one word, it was a WHOLESOME holiday! egypt is really exotic with a very interesting culture and really good looking people. hehe. such a perfect mix.

it was such an enriching experience.. i learnt so much!! egypt history and lifestyle.. it was seriously an eye-opener on how different life can be miles away. its amazing how their system works..

it was so surreal when i walked beside the Pyramids.. climbed into the tombs buried in the valleys and pyramids.. took the felucca along Nile River.. saw the temple of Queen Hatshepsut.. and the best part of the trip was my white desert stay.

white desert took my breath away. it was the pretties thing i have ever seen. really. such peace and serenity. gosh. a perfectly calming effect on my overly stressed nerves. the vastness of the desert with the uniquely shaped 'mushrooms' instantly made me fall in love with the place. it is such an unforgettable experience. the jeep ride through the desert.. the overnite stay..

as xuefen puts it in the most sincere and emotional tone, " my dreams came true ".. the white desert experience is really stg u shd go for if u go to Egypt. It is seriously underated. so i am trying to promote this beautiful place.

i felt helplessly romantic as i laid on my back in the middle of the nite.. the darkness of the desert.. only dimly lited by our failing campfire..to just stare into the sky... full of stars.. really many stars... i wished my eyes could have a 360 view... i lost count of the number of shooting stars i saw..but it was magical. it was simply one of the best moments in my life. i wished it didnt have to end..i love the white desert so much that i teared when the tour ended. felt so silly after that.

we had a wonderful guide called Muhammad Hendy. He was such a mummy and daddy to us. We miss him and the mushrooms. gosh... i'm missing it again!

i had so much fun with the girls. we laffed.. we cursed.. we went thru so much dirt together!!! and we really 'orchestra' a lot. we came up with new games.. haha.. nw we have more than just the question game..we laffed over the same jokes each time. the 'welcome' and 'ceguguk' joke. haa. watever. we went thru the dreadful looooooooonnnnnggggggggggg train rides. we almost wanted to eat each other up.. or at least strangle someone. cos it was such a torture to be in that tiny cabin for more than 10 hours! eww.

and as what we had been saying thruout the trip.. "we've become skinny, dry, dusty, dark.. but happy.. and toned.." haha. it cannot be true-er.

seriously, if u have a chance to visit egypt, u should. i cried when i was on the plane on the way back to spore. cos i found myself emotionally attached to the place... dun ask me why.. but i guess its prolly the people there. me and my friends were really lucky to have met genuinely helpful and nice people.. and thank God for looking after us throughout the trip..

now that egypt is over.. i have europe to plan for!! yayness!!!! so europe june 08! or at least, tts the plans i have rite now. haha.

well but from now till then, i also have other important matters to attend to.
so much work. so much distractions. haha. good kind of distractions.

i wana upload my egypt pics but still having probs with photobucket. urgh. so irritatin!

anyway, a Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha for all Muslims.. I'm gona eat banyak banyak again to make up for the lost kilos in egypt. haha. i bet someone begs to differ. *winks*

u like it? i LIKE. haha.

2007-11-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

gosh. its wed. and its gona be thurs in a few minutes. and blink blink it wld soon be time to head off for the airport.

i have started packing since few days back and i am STILL packing. this is the trouble with travelling in winter. i dont know what to bring. haha.

i'm pretty nervous yet excited. it had been a one year wait you know!

there's SO many things i am worried about!

the weather. if i have enough warm clothings. the money. the transport around egypt. the weather in the desert. the fact tt we have no men travelling with us. reny. gosh. i am so worried abt all these!!

so many things to do tmr. visiting. packing (again!)argh.

i hope and pray everything will be fine for me and my frens. hopefully our trip goes smoothly as planned. May God protect us from danger and keep us safe and healthy and happy! May things turn bette for my bestie too.. i'll be praying fr u still dear from egypt.

2007-11-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

my fav pink fon is kaput. me and my itchy wet fingers. hmpf. i spoiled my own beloved fon. and the best thing is i just signed up for a new contract and gave the chance to get a new fon to my bro. and i am pretty much broke rite now to buy a fon without line. well, not completely broke. more like i have other priorities at the moment! gosh. the last thing i need is a spoilt fon! and i have to use my bro's old fon. which is really boo.

health is ur ultimate wealth. never ever take it for granted. cherish life. love and do not hate. and if u love, show it. prove it.

the love in the heart is not meant to stay.
the love in the heart is to be given away.

2007-11-21T23:33:00.001+08:00

met up with the girls to do some last minute planning for egypt.

gosh. NINE more days. from one year to nine more days! wat a countdown. and time flies!!!

we are pretty excited but oh so nervous too!!

supposed to visit reny but she told us to come tmr. she must be relieved to be back home. thank god they are safely back!

will be gg to nad's hse on sat to settle our finances.. haha.. nad needs to take out her duit cawan.. haha.. and give to many other cawans.. and we plan to go to GIANT to buy our foodpack! woohoo.

went out with my family to celebrate haziqs bday. he got his prezzies and a treat at Arnolds. Haziqs turning 11 on the 23rd. my small bro isnt so small after all! haha.
but the sis still small :P

just some thots..

a man that stimulates the mind stimulates every part of the woman's body.

smart men ticks.

gorgeoug women gets their way.

2007-11-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

been a week since i turned 24.. i haven had the chance to reflect on how the past year had been.. the 23rd year of my life..

well finally today, i can do some thinking..

chapter 23 was pretty exciting.. a lot of drama..emotions..its like the climax of a movie.

highlights of chapter 23..

personal:
i made one of the most difficult decisions ever.. in july 2007.. i dun think i have to go into details.. if u know it, then u know it. i learnt a lot from it.. even up to this day, i still reflect on the decision i made.

and then i made another important decision.. in october 07.. i hope this time around, i made the right choice. i cant deny the fear of failing once again.. i'm constantly keeping faith and praying for the best outcome..

my weight went up and down.. down during school term.. up during holidays.. and its really up rite now. hehe. i'm at my heaviest. haha.

didnt shop much when i was 23.. dun ask me why.. maybe i had not much time.. maybe i lost touch with my shopping craze.. maybe i always end up spending my money for other things..

still saving to meet my 2007 target. waiting for the bonus! cant wait for them to reveal the bonus! cos i need to know how much i can spend at the end of the year!!

managed to go to BKK for the first time!! a bit late rite.. ppl go BKK at 18... i went at 23... haha. well anyways it was hell lot of fun. cos i went with a group of happening ppl! and who else could they be if not my colleagues!! yah mab.. the bankokers.. haha.

family:
nothing much has changed.. we still love each other a lot.. i love them more and more as each day passes by..

friends:
nothing much has changed too.. i'm still blessed with my darling girlfrens who were there for me during my tough times.. giving me support and a listening ear anywhere, anytime.. love them to bits.. and of cos not to forget, the trip that bonded us so much.. the aussie mossie trip!! that was back in dec 06.. till today, i reminisced. i swear i wana go thru the whole experience again. every second of it. i really really really miss it.

work:
from a BT, to a CT. It was fun! I had a wonderful class, 1I. i'll miss them for sure.. hope they'll miss me too. i had a memorable journey of preparing my graduating kids for the O levels.. and i will really miss them too. Guess in a teachers life, we have to say " students come.. students go.." had a few memorable occassions like sec 1 bonding camp..when i did the chicken dance on the canteen table, dressed up like a pretty burito during youth day.. did publicity talks to primary school students.. standing on stage in front of the whole school to tell a story about frogs.. hehe.. but its all good.. :)

so.. generally thats how my 23rd year had been.. lots of tears, heart aches, confusion, decision making.. but i guess it all happened for a reason.. and theres always a blessing in disguise..

so what do i wish for chapter 24?

i wish for one thing and that is HAPPINESS. i hope my dreams will come true and i pray that love wont turn its back on me again.

2007-11-13T01:38:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to my beloved bestie.. KHAIRUN!!!

Hey babe.. you know that i love you. but do u know that i love you to bits?? hehe.

anyways, happy happy birthday darling!! better cherish this bday cos next year wont be the same! if you know what i mean..!!

on a sweeter note,

mirror mirror on the wall...
who is my bestie of all times...

Khairun!! haha.. *jeng jeng jeng*

i wish you a lifetime of happiness sweetheart.. cos its what that matters! life is about being happy.. even when things dont go our way, its when we count our blessings that we feel a little better. every good thing deserves a smile. and every smile will bring some happiness. if i could smile for u each day, i would.

i love u. with all my heart.

God bless a beautiful soul like you.

2007-11-13T01:32:00.001+08:00

what is the best thing that has ever happened to you?

my fave phrase from the show Game Plan.

Great show. Catch it.

so.. answer my question..

the best thing that has ever happened to me is.... * only i know the answer *

sumtimes i wish u knew.

2007-11-13T01:19:00.000+08:00

i wana put up my DnD pics but seems to have a lil bit of a problemo with photobucket! grr.

mount sinai looks gorgeous!

so how nad?

2007-11-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

i had a wonderful 24th birthday.

Celebrated it on the 10th with my special someone. It was simple and romantic. i like. *goosebumps* Thank you sweetheart.

Celebrated it again on the 11th with my beloved family. It was a fattening affair. My bro gave a treat to the whole family at Simpang Bedok and boy was it a feast! I swear i felt super duper mambo jumbo ultra fat ok! but it was all good... Thanks Odel.

I got gifts from my beloved ones. and i really like each and every gift.

always close to my heart.

Thank YOU for making it special.

2007-11-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

Hey peepz.. i got this from one of my meetings.. Just thot i'd wana share..

I TRY TO LISTEN BETTER NOW

When God gave out brains,
I thought He said trains,
And i missed mine.

When God gave out looks,
I thought He said books,
And i didnt want any.

When God gave out noses,
i thought he said roses,
And i asked for a red one.

When God gave out legs,
I thought he said cakes,
And i asked for two rounds.

When God gave out chins,
I thought he said gins,
And i ordered a double.

When God gave out heads,
I thought he said beds,
And i asked for a soft one.

Since then,
I;m trying to listen better.

2007-11-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

i am sooooo bored rite now.

slowly packing my stuffz for the holiday. getting more excited by the day. just really worried for reny. hopefully her mum gets well soon and the whole family can come back safely. reny, our prayers are with u k girl.. *hugs*

i love my birthday gift. thanks dear. the gift will remind me that you are always close to my heart. *smilez*

i am looking forward to tomorrow. even if its a simple one, i know it will still be special.

2007-11-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

i'm extremely upset. for a couple of reasons. i wish i can just shout out loud.

i feel terrible. not sure how it will turn out when the day comes. suddenly i have no confidence. i wish i just didnt know about it. such discouraging feedback. my heart just sank.

i feel angry. cos i dont know just what the heck they are trying to do. excuses. one after another. i've been patient enuff and i've reached the limits. i'm not a fool. so stop treating me like one.

i feel sad. some things we do seems to be in vain. action speaks louder than words. a little appreciation goes a long way. if only everyone believes in that.

hopefully something good happens to me.

2007-11-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

all i ever need is a gentle soul who showers me with love and happiness.

if only u could hear the whispers of my heart
if only u could taste the sweetness of my desires
if only u could feel the intense craving
if only u dream of whats on my mind
i wish u'd love me the right way
but i still love you anyway

2007-11-03T13:21:00.000+08:00

the seven years itch.

some go through. some dont. i did. over and done with it.

sabar and baik sangka. two most important things to keep a marriage going. in the words of my much respected cikgu. sabar meaning patience and baik sangka meaning having faith and good thoughts.

marriage requires a lot of effort which must be continuous too.

the whole hari raya outing was pretty much centred on the topic of marriage. since khai and mas are getting married. it was kinda weird. to have such a serious 'talk' during the visit. syidah and me didnt feel it as much as the ones getting married. but it definitely sets me thinking.

kinda scary. i wonder how it feels to be two weeks away from the wedding. hmm.

and talk about that, it will be a pretty exciting november. besides my bday, i have to attend the 3-nite affair for mas wedding. the ber-inai and nikah and sanding. wow. must prepare three different outfits. haha. as if i am the one getting married! well i am excited for her definitely. happy too that she's gona be a wife. heh. its a whole new world ahead for her. and khai's would be very soon.

and after mas's wedding, i'd be all geared up for the egypt trip. yay.

so cikgu asked when wld be mine and syidah's turn. hmm. insyallah. one fine day.

its so different hanging out with my frens who are still dating and those getting married.. the things we talk about.. the way we carry ourselves... the whole feel is different. and somehow i find myself somewhere in btw.

so engagement seems to be a very trying period. i'm sure it is. so many things to discuss about. the wedding. the house. the possibility of having kids. the way the family will be run. the getting to know each other's family. the saving up. weow. so many decision making. conflicts. differences. hmm. interesting. but i'm sure at the end of the day, it would be a worthwhile journey. i guess proper planning and a lot of compromise would be needed. scary yet exciting.

i am having my pms. it sucks big time. i feel so whiny. and so easily irritated. yucks. i feel like i need all the attention in the world. and i feel like i need to be pleased in every possible way. watever. these mood swings better go away fast. it frustates me.

cant wait to meet xf for window shopping. and of cos chit chat! so much to share with her. guess i will be letting out all my erratic feelings to her. i feel like theres so much bottled up in me that i need to just puke everything out.

wishing. thinking. wishing.

2007-10-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

31 more days to egypt. yayness. been counting down.

i'm so looking forward to it cos firstly, i deserve this break. after working hard for the whole year and all the downs i have been thru in 2007, its time for me, myself and I. secondly, its gona be so fun with the girls and the pyramids. i've always enjoyed every single moment with them. especially when its overseas. girls, i swear i cant wait. we are gona have a great time there k.. *hugs* thirdly, i'm also looking forward to the agenda after egypt. 2007 is coming to an end and i really hope i can wrap it up in a good and positive way. of hope and faith. with love and joy.

u've brought me here
u made me believe
i'm falling now
so hold my back and catch me
take my hands and walk with me
through this journey we shall find
a love thats rightfully ours
a dream thats meant to come true
do you feel the sweetness on the lips
and the warmth of the breath
as we speak a beautiful silence
and drown in a moment of gaze
the time stops but our hearts beat
to the rythm of a new found romance

2007-10-26T02:18:00.000+08:00

thank you for putting yourself in my shoes.

thank you for doing something about it.

i appreciate it a lot.

it would be a challenging road ahead. but it is one that we will endure.

2007-10-21T04:29:00.000+08:00

shopping.
when u dun have the money
u want it so bad
when u finally can afford
u decided to consider
wana look around further
ensure theres no better bargains
or at least urs is the best

by the time u wanted to get it
its no longer there
last piece
out of stock
no size
all sorts of excuses
nevertheless, u've missed it.

at marlin's place

2007-10-18T18:15:00.001+08:00

shasha and kak awin and me.

2007-10-18T18:14:00.001+08:00

2007-10-18T18:11:00.001+08:00

2007-10-18T18:10:00.001+08:00

2007-10-18T18:09:00.001+08:00

2007-10-18T17:48:00.001+08:00

2007-10-18T16:56:00.001+08:00

to really love a woman
to understand her
you've got to know whats deep inside
hear every thought
see every dream
and give her wings when she wants to fly

and when you find yourself
lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

when you love a woman
you tell her that she's reallty wanted
when you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody
to tell her that its gonna last forever
so tell me have you ever ever really
really really ever loved a woman

you got to give her some faith
and hold her tight
a little tenderness
you gotta treat her right
she'll be there for you
taking good care of you
you really gotta love your woman

and when you find yourself
lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

to really love a woman
let her hold you
do you know how she needs to be touched?
you got to breathe her
really taste her
till you can feel her in your blood
then when u can your unborn children in her eyes
you know you really love a woman

- have you really loved a woman, bryan adams