have you ever missed someone so bad that you feel like crying when u feel his warmth... when you feel your heart squeeze as you stare into him... its great to have your loved one beside you..

me and him went to get our long overdue gifts for each other. he got me the esprit black watch and i bought him a pair of puma. i like. he also likes. giggles. yay. so happy that we finally got them!! pipi made me drink two bottles of plain water. half a bottle every 45 minutes. and i had to like stand still and drink it up. cos he knows i wont drink if he doesnt force. i ended up going to the toilet every thirty minutes!!! and he made me eat my chicken rice without chilli. first time in my life. urgh. all because i have a bad throat rite now. i am so worried that i wont get well by tuesday cos i need to be super fine to enjoy my holidays!!! must take care of myself.. the running nose has subsided a lot.. just the throat is really dry and my voice is kinda husky.... or sexy should i say... huahuahua..

i got a top from topshop. yay. and.......... i finally purchased taufik's album!! Not too bad for the first so called self written and composed album.. i personally like it. i may be biased tho. a few good tracks i must say.. he sounds different in malay!

tmr is a spring cleaning day.. and gona meet ma gals to settle our insurance and finances.. gona get our aust dollars too.. yay yay. six days and counting!

i finally finished the paper. phew.

its one week away to my trip!! cant believe it.. all the planning that started in august is now becoming more and more real.. best kannnnn...!!

anyways, everyones been telling me that me and my gals will sure fight during the trip. well, i do expect some arguements, disagreements.. but i guess thats normal right.. 12 days together!! bound to quarrel! but but but.. i really hope it would just be harmless squabbles.. no cat fights and no pulling of hairs and stuffz k.. we r gona stay cool as a pack.. no matter what happens, we are still gona be frens.. lets make this a trip that will bond all of us even stronger.. as long as everyone puts in effort to avoid nasty conflicts, everything shd be ok.. as long as someone is sane enuff to rationalise stuffz, we will be fine insyallah..

by the way guys, u all would be able to know if i am nt happy... my face will show it all.. cant hide my feelings.. thats why ppl say i'm like an open book ... easy to read.. hate it really. wish i am not so transparent.

its already tues. one more day to wed. yay yay.

class 95 always play the best sappy love songs.. tho i will start to feel emo nemo, i still love it... anyways, i recently attended a wedding that was done in a very very simple way. just the ROMM for the solemnisation procedure and the bride and groom return home where the closest family members were waiting.. said some prayers and everyone eats to their hearts' content. tho simple, i think its kinda more meaningful. i am seriously not into those grand weddings whereby anyone and everyone would be invited. i mean seriously.. whats the point?? for me, what matters most is the solemnisation and that my family and closest friends are there to share one of the happiest moments of my life.. i'm thinking that mine will prolly be a simple affair too.. but maybe to save my family the trouble of cooking and cleaning up, i'd make it at a ballroom.. in fact, i like the ballroom at yishun safra country club.. thot it was quite nice.. a ballroom dinner would be sweet isnt it? a one night function... buffet style.. speeches by the important peepz in my life.. loads of picture taking and thanking every single guess who came.. hehe.. see see.. the effects love songs have on me.....sheesh. now back to reality.. yikes. long long way to go fazleen.

anyways, a fren of mine asked if i have ever reached a stage in the relationship where its all too familiar... well, i guess everyone will eventually reach that stage at some point in their relationship. the question is, when it reaches that point, is it just mere stagnance or has it developed into something more mature.... yeah things might get kinda routine after a while.. but as what mr R.J always tells me.. the flame cant burn itself.. and it can die.. but its up to us to make sure that its always burning.. and we gotto consciously constantly put in the effort to keep it alive.. most ppl start off with tt honeymoon stage where u get goosebumps just by hearing his voice..and u try so hard to please him.. and u wait by the phone for his call.. spend sleepless nights talking about nothing.. well i guess, this might fade away as u move on to something more real and less fantasy like.. the phone calls still matter.. the conversations too.. but its not as crucial...a greater concern would be what the conversation is actually about.. isit still at a superificial level or are you already able to reveal ur truest insecurity.. talk about your deepest fears and greatest dreams.. be whom u truly are without having to worry of being judged.. its not so much of realising whats common between the two of u.. but realising what needs to be done to bridge the differences..

just like a frenship.. it always start of with sharing of laughters.. but its when u know tt u can also share the tears is when u realise that its not just a friend.. but a blesssing from God.. the kind of love towards a fren who laffs with u and a fren who cries with u is definitely different.. so i guess its similar to ppl who have been together for a long time.. familiarity will definitely occur.. but it doesnt mean tt the love has died.. it could just mean tt it has taken on a different form... and it is prolly expressed in different ways..

i was reading xuefen's blog about how enriching her experience with the special kids was.. she spent the day with them at pulau ubin and in that one day, she learnt a few priceless things.. reminds me of how i always feel after i volunteered in kids camps.

been involved in a couple of kids camps where the kids came from a diverse background. such camps are always an eye-opener to me. u'll be amazed at how two strangers can grow close to each other within three days.. how these kids can love u in a day and open up to u, sharing with u their special moments and issues that are on their minds.. u'll be scared to realise how fast the kids are growing up today.

its always an amazing feeling when u have made someone feel loved, cared for and appreciated... even for a while.. its a special moment between u and urself.. to touch the hearts and lives of others.. it would be a beautiful life one could ever live.. a name can live forever..

sumtimes i feel that i am trapped in a material world where wealth is a measure of one's success. its about the money and the car, the branded goods, the name and the fame.. but really, theres more to that.. its those that doesnt cost much that has more value.. while i still believe it is important to work for a good and comfortable life, money isnt everything. its a HUGE necessity of cos and u cant live without it.. but theres also other things that completes life.

today was pretty productive. i did some work and rewarded myself with a trip to town with 2/3 of my bros. heh. haziq and odel and me. went to far east to get my dress! yes. my dress. one day after i demanded for a refund, the shop called me up and said that the dress is ready for collection. what a 'coincidence' eh. first it was two weeks. then it was less than 24 hours. rite. its soo obvious. urgh. anyway, when i went to collect, they took out a different design! wasnt what i ordered!! and where was MY dress??? on the manequin! grr. showed them a black face and they quickly undressed the manequin and gave it to me. not very happy with the fact that it was on the manequin instead of nicely wrapped in a plastic but i couldnt be bothered to pursue the issue. tried it on and it was ok. end of story.

saw a couple of nice stuffs that i am itiching to buy. u knw whats funny is that.. whenever i am on a real shopping spree, i dun see stuffz that i like.. but when i only look see look see, i see stuffz that i want! but i didnt buy any cos i am trying to curb myself..want to settle my melbourne trip first and see how much i am left with by then..

next week schedule...

1) mon - finish up paper
2) tues - clear up some work
3) wed - school
- present hunting with dearest
4) thurs - unpacking at pipi's room cos he is finally gona SHIFT back to where he truly belongs..
- IKEA with xuefen
5) fri - shopping with dearest
6) sat - IKEA again
- drop by town to support lat's stalls
- start packing for australia!!
7) sun - continue packing for australia!!

woohoo.. seems quite a lot of stuff coming up this week.. cos that martian is finally gona end his exams.. so this venusian just cant wait to bring him back to earth.. and do what earthians do. heh.

gona watch dvd now. nitez all.

finally met Mr R.J yesterday. best skali. hehe.

went around marina square with xuefen. she looks pretty in the flare skirt. stg different. good different. i had to walk around with the super unglamorous PLASTIC bag from daiso cos i bought some werk stuffz frm there. haiz. so boo.

i'm angry at this particular shop. shant name it. supposed to collect my dress today. been two weeks. called them up and they told me i must wait for another two weeks. what the. if i wait another two weeks, that would be like ONE month. so ridiculous. i have already paid the full fifty bucks and they want me to wait for one month?? its not like its a bridal gown ok. argh. i asked for refund cos i am seriously turned off. the salesgirl said she will check with the boss and get back to me. and guess what. she didnt. totally expected. urgh.

bought flats today. closed toe flats. heh. sorry xuefen i had to make u go thru the dilemma. heh.

theres so many types of shoes tt i want.. flat sandals, heels, canvas, wedge.. haiz. as if i got nothing else to buy.

i am so looking for nice casual tops.. anyone got any recommendations?

cant wait for wed.

goooooood morning....

oh man.. i am so freaking alone in the staff room. the silence is killing me. so i decided to blast off some music. thank god the uniform group kids are kinda noisy.. at least theres some sign of life here. haha.

decided to pop into my office to do a bit of cleaning. giggles. so sleepy and hungry and thirsty right now. cant wait to meet Mr R.J later. hehe.

the bonus has been announced!!! more than what i was expecting! so yay!! *smilez widely* now i can plan what i wana do with it. hahaha.

oh, finally another teacher came in. at least now i am not alone. haha.

a simple affair on a memorable night

ehem ehem..

god knows why the heck i was smiling so widely..

so i stick to my promise. i faithfully filed my resources. believe it or not, it took me FIVE hours. and thats not all. still have two boxes of stuffz in the office that i have yet to settle. but for now, i must congratulate myself for completing the task. all those stuffz that i lugged home is now neat in their respective files. yay! i'm so happy that i have to blog this down. haha.

i'm a hungry hungry hippo rite now.

morning...

feels great to wake up at ten!! yes yes.. school holidays are here! hooray hooray!! been gg out for the last three days and i am sooo very very tired from all the walking. brought my mum and haziq to bugis junction yesterday. bought haziq a casio watch for his bday. saw another esprit watch that i like. its gold strap. very nice i like. hehe. told mas already.. hahaha.. finally!

i promise myself that i will stay home today to do my filing.

the prep for melbourne trip is almost settled. booked our tasmania accomadations and worked out our budget. so far so good. its getting more exciting! two more weeks and off we go to the wilderness! hehe. just pray that everything will go smoothly and according to plan.. tho i am feeling super excited, i'm a bit scared and worried too cos this would be the first time i am travelling (beyond malaysia) without my family.. it feels different of cos. with my family, all i need to do is pack my bags and go! with frens, soooo many stuffz must be settled before we even fly! but its a great learning process and i'm definitely enjoying all our aussie meetings. haha. with that, i'd also like to extend a huge thank you to euni for her hospitality. euni has kindly allowed us to use her house for our meeting venues.. cos her place has two lap tops and one desktop.. so its super efficient! on top of that, she ensures that we dun go hungry at her place. with the yummy meals and fantastic cookies... i really appreciate it gurl.. thanks sooooo much.. mwahs. by the way, hafiz, if u are reading this, plsssss respond cos i have been waiting to chat with u on msn abt tasmania.. need to get some info from u!!!

i feel like straightening my hair and cut it real short. its gona be a transformation if i really do that! only thing is that..i think i am gona miss my curls... and once i start rebond, i got to keep doing it.. i wouldnt want half my head to be curly and half of it straight. the last time i had short hair was four years ago. boo. the one when everyone went " oh my god.. why did u cut ur hair.. ??? so sayang.. so wasted..." and all i wanted was a CHANGE. haha.

i went for a mini shopping spree with xuefen and nad ytd. bought two tops from mphosis and a pair of sandals. finally i got a pair of sandals tt fits!!! thank god. so happy ok.

have yet to get my shoes and my casual tops. boo.

i am so super hungry rite now.

pipi, good luck for ur coming papers. i know u are going thru a tough time, but lets endure. no pain no gain rite.. heh.. how cliche!

nitez ppl..

vivo city is huge. i love it. almost everything is there!! went with my family to check out the place... i must say that its pretty cool.. u can go chill outdoors after shopping.. enjoy the view and can even wave to the people in Sentosa!

i bought a bag. yay!! i still haven gotten my shoes. badly need them... *hmpf*

i am practically counting the days to pipi's last paper. i really really cant wait. its been too long since me and pipi went out. first it was my kids having exams..then the fasting mth.. then his exams.. which is sooo super long. sigh. cant wait to get each other's prezzie and to have my ever faithful shopping partner back with me. hehe. we MUST go shopping once ur exams are over k. u owe me LOADS of shopping sprees. hehehe.

tok about shopping, i think i must come up with the list of things i need to buy for my melbourne trip. *faints*

i am so gona be brokey-pokey.. still haven gotten reny's prezzie..mum's bday is coming up.. my bro haziq is also turning 10 soon..he already gave me two bars of snickers for my bday. hehe. so that is a clear hint to me that i must also buy him some present that he would like.

i love this esprit watch that i saw in the magazine the other day. checked it out at the esprit outlet and it looks so nice... i like!!! so frustated that TAKA doesnt have that model. boo. otherwise i can make use of my voucher! kentalz. haiz.

i lugged back all my resources home. told myself that i must do filing this week. prolly on sat. boo. cant wait to settle tasmania stuffz on sun..

things to think abt..
1) melbourne shopping list
2) workspace shopping list..

heh.. yes i need cabinets and trays and drawers and nice hooks for my desk. i need to make it more ME!!! its soooo boring and messy rite now. gotta sprinkle some pinkness to it.

cant wait for taufiks album to be released!

yesterday, i turned 23. :)

feeling kinda old. 23... my mum was married and carrying me when she was 23.. and where am i? a beginning teacher who has only werked for slightly more than a year.. heh..

my 23rd was spent in a humble way.. had some frens at my place.. cut a cake.. took pics.. and this year, i got LOADS of chocs!!! my bros are so very happy abt it. cos they gona eat most of them up!

i was feeling rather down cos i didnt go out on my burfday. had no one to spend it with. bf busy with exams.. frens all having their own plans.. everyone assumed i had plans and thus didnt want to intrude... when actually, i had none. but its ok, cos in the end, my sweet colleagues made it significant.. they got me a cake... had a simple cake cuttign ceremony with my family anf frens... thanks guys... love u all..

hope u all had a great time at mua's place and enjoyed the food..not sure abt the tuna sandwiches tho.. hehe..

spent the whol e day just now wit ma gurls.. raya-ing.. it was quiet initially.. but we soon warmed up and all the crap came out... sheesh.. reny's absence could be felt..when xuefen left it left an impact too.. but all in all, it was great. had a wonderful time.. thanks gurls.. mwah

sumthings in life cant be explained
only the murmurs of ur heart
and the memory of that beautiful moment lives on...

i have a pimple on the cheek. haiz.

happy anniversary. 73rd month. giggles.

i went shopping with xuefen. i was a bit too ambitious.. wanted to get this and that.. but.. sadly, there was hardly anything that i liked!! walked around for a bit and only like one dress. xuefen likes it two. hehehe. but there was only ONE piece left in the whole of Singapore. so, i had to order and it will only come in two weeks time!! grr. went home empty handed. boo.

badly wanted to use my takka voucher but nothing caught my eye. loads of pretty accessories. but not what i am looking for rite now. wanted casual tops but didnt see any! dresses seems to be the IN thing.. haha.. been a while since i shopped... thanks to exams and fasting and hari raya preparations..!! boo again.

but guess what.. i was immediately cheered up by my parents..

i was changing in my room when haziq my bro repeatedly knocked on my door, urging me to have dinner. i opened my door and to my surprise, nicely placed on the sofa was a box which says " Citigems " !!! and haziq was already grinning from ear to ear. so i was like.. "but my bday is not today!! " and i immediately opened it.. and.. *smilez*...

thanks mum and dad for the lovely pair of earrings. its really what i have been eyeing for.. was planning to reward myself at the end of year.... but looks like now i dun need to!! thanks soooo much. i truly appreciate it and will cherish it!!! i love u mum and dad. i will always pray for ur health and happiness!! MWAHHHHHH!!!

i cant wait for mr R.J to finish his exams.

i swear i am in love with taufik's new songs. listened to it over and over again for like three hours. can u believe that? oh gosh. sumone help me!!

i cant wait for his album to be released.

for his malay fans, u shd check out "usah lepaskan".

good nite all. mwah.

some pics of me and my long time buddies. our friendship goes a long long way..

pipi came over in the morning for raya. i made him breakfast. french toast and potato-egg thinghy which i duno what its called. heh. he gave me thumbs up. so thats good enuff. haha.

pipi stayed for the longest this year. two hours and he was intensely talking to my mum most of the time. i was there as the rather silent observer. it wss so funny listening to the stories they shared. my mum told him about how i always dressed up and play teacher-teacher with my bro when i was a small kid.. how my bro religiously listened to me and willingly pretended to be my student..

i got reminded of those days when i made my very own teachers record book with names of many students. i always pretended that i had a class when in actual fact there was only ONE student and he is non other than my bro, ODEL. haha. not his real name tho. i'd have the names of all my cuzzins and my good frens and my bros frens in that record book. and i would take attendance and imagined they say "yes teacher". heh. reminds me of how much i wanted to be a teacher. i remember the whiteboard and markers.. the so called test papers and worksheets that i set.. and all the marking and the stars i gave my bro.. haha.. in the end he got a higher aggregate than me for PSLE. cheh.

pipi can really talk a lot. kinda amazed at how well he can stretch a conversation and lead it on to another topic. heh.

went to my aunts place. she just shifted to a landed property at jalan hang jebat area.. heh.. do u know where that is??!!! haha.. ok its near NUS, but thats not the point. her place was cool... very different.. her house is very kampong like.. its like one of those house u see in 'Growing up'.. surrounded by greenery (or forest??). LOADS of privacy cos its kinda along a very very quiet lane.. thank God hers is the first unit.. so its pretty near the expressway..

her neighbour's unit was nicely done up that it looks so cosy... like those u see in the home decor magazine.. so best. i was so kaypo that i went to peek at his house with shasha, elysha and my bro. then came Jack the dog who barked so loud that we all ran away like mad and elysha clinged to me like theres no tomorrow!!! she was damn shocked and scared of dogs!!

anyway i had so much fun with my cuzzins and elysha. she is just sooooooooooo cute. she is only two but she is sooo smart. u say 'mascara' and she will pretend to hold a mascara and curl ur eyelashes. she does it like a pro!! then if u are lucky she will pretend to dab some blusher too! she can point to any part of the body. u name it. she gets it. my bro kept telling me to go get married and have a baby girl so that we can have such fun at home. as if its sooo easy lah.

i love girls....!!!!!!

its been a rather quiet raya this year. think its cos of the so many examinations taking place at the same time. feeling worried for my bro who is taking his A's.. sumhow guys seem so much more 'slack'.. hmm.

been visiting my closest relatives. really happy that i got the chance to meet my lovely cuzzin suzie. been ages. tho she was in spore for two weeks, i only saw her for like an hour. very sad indeed. we used to see each other much more often. chilled out after work. met up during family outings.. all those bbqs and chilling by the beach.. when we just talked and shared stories.. and i ate so much while she ate almost none. those were the good ol days... i miss those times. really.

this year raya made me feel old. cos it finally hits me that all my 'little' cousins are not that little anymore. they've grown and of cos so much taller than me. they are all kakak kakak and abang abang now.. haiz.. time really flies.

what xuefen said is true. things are different now. in the past, whenever we go out, we always meet at control station and go home together via train.. now there's always a car. sumtimes even more than one. three girls to two cars. heh.

its about one month away from my melbourne trip. i am soooo excited. i really want to get out of here and just be away from the ever busy life. its time to enjoy nature and just have a real good laid back time with my darling gfs.

there's loads for me think abt. the year is cmg to an end. i need to sit down, close my eyes and reflect on 2006. reflect on life and plan ahead. there's so many aspects i got to look into. really need time to do this.

a student of mine gave me a pretty necklace yesterday. it was a tiken of appreciation. caught me by surprise and put a smile on my face.

some things in life cant be bought.