once upon a time, during my JC days, i was 35kg. it was terrible cos i looked ultra skinny and tiny.

then things got better when i went uni. less stress, more weight. i put on 3 kg. so i was 38.

3 kg was like a miracle considering i had so much difficulties trying to gain just ONE kilo. i became really happy cos i was no longer skinny. from skinny, i went to THIN.

cos i was so happy, i continued eating. 2kg added. i reached 40. and from thin i become JUST NICE.

by then, i got so used to eating a lot tt my appetite became really 'good'. so, now i'm 42. and i feel fat. seriously.

i look super round in almost every picture. my side view is terrible cos of the double chin.

i used to love it when ppl say i have put on weight. but now i dun really feel flattered. one thing i realize, i have proven myself wrong. i thot i could never get fat cos back then, it seemed like that. even my mum is surprised that i can grow horizontally. i think i have the potential to balloon up after giving birth. and that aint too good.

my mum says i'm fat. my bros too. my bf also.

i'm trying to cut down on my food intake. doing some exercises to burn off my oh so many fats. no junkiez. no snacking. just main meals, with smaller serving.

i used to be pretty fair. but now i am so tanned. or dark for that matter.

i cant help it that i tan easily. thanks to my hyper melanin production. and to make it werse, i am always outdoor when the sun is right on top mf my head. i go to school when its scorching hot. mr sunshine loves to glare at my face.

sunblocks dont seem to werk that well.

i'm desperate and quite upset.

i know i shouldnt be complaining. but yet i am. *shrugs*