today is such a boring day. woke up early to go to school. chem therapy session. had to eat indomee in my tiny mug cos i had no time to grab a proper breakfast. went back to have lunch and out again to pasir ris for a while. came back and sleep. and thruout, i just felt really blah the whole day. i dun really like this feeling.

restless. its coming to may. but oh well. doesnt make any difference.

five more months to the Big O's and i am getting freaking worried for all my graduating classes. this year's pretty tough cos i am taking 4 graduating classes. 3 taking O levels and 1 taking N levels. geez. and with Bio having the new syllabus. its almost as good as doing it for the first time. but like what i was told before "the first time doesnt mean it has to be bad".. and i guess my first time in 2007 was quite allright..as nervous as i was last year, this year, its triple the load. i think i'll be a zombified wreck in term 4. but sumwhere deep in my heart, something's telling me that the kids will be able to do well at the end of the day..and i pray that they will have a happy ending. sometimes teaching doesnt feel like a job.. it just feels like a lifestyle.. haha. *hmm* about 2 more weeks of teaching before the mid year exams kick in. the clock is ticking really fast. my dear students, time to wake up and focus.

guess i am gona spend my june jolidays having extra lessons for the grad classes. and band practise. haha. when nad and xf are in europe.. and baya and fa are in US...gosh.. i really have to console myself big time and sumhow come up with a big fat lie for myself that my holidays can still be exciting. my only hope for it to be more happening is THE preps. but even that, i'm not too sure too.

this year feels a tad different cos i dun have that DEC trip to look forward too. for the past two years, every day seems a bit easier when i think of the big reward at the end of the year. but this year, there's no reward at the finishing line. so how do i make this race feel more survivable??

been thinking about dreams and desires. goals and aspirations. what is life without a dream. a dream remains a dream if nothing is acted upon. as idealistic as i am, i do believe that dreams can come true.. and what have i been doing all my life..i've been very committed in bringing myself closer to realise my dreams. a step at a time. but i never stopped believing. and i never stopped wanting it. i push myself and sumtimes i push myself hard. sometimes i do ask myself if its worth it cos life's unpredictable anyway. but i guess that stuborn part of me always puts me back at the path where i wana be. i just hope that along the way, God will help me and shower me with his blessings amidst the challenges.

wldnt it be easier if all were earthians rather than martians and venusians. two different worlds who cant be without another. how ironic.

tell me the gameplan. cos my enthusiasm is running low.